How Did I Got Here?

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So, I decided to take up the OctPoWriMo Challenge once again. I am not sure if I can do all 31 poems or not but I wanted to get back to writing and this is the best opportunity.

There is a kind of vacuum and lot of unwanted stress due to mundane things of life and I want some smiles back which can come back with more positivity than I already have so I thought I will write more. Writing is cathartic. Its passionate. Its love. Its happiness.

I am writing after ages and somehow I have forgotten to make verses and have got more comfortable with random thoughts. As I say this I am smiling, for I used to always say I even think in rhymes. Just how life changes right ? So, lets do this and I hope this make sense and I hope after this challenge I can get back that writing tempo.

So see you around 🙂

Day I 

I sometimes sit still and wonder
At the serenity that encloses
I wonder if this it is, and ask
How did I get here?

I remember the struggles and pain
The scars are now all so gone
But I know the pain, and wonder
How did I get here?

Life is at a standstill again
I have a long way to reach zenith
But I am glad at being where I feel
How did I get here?

Love and happiness defined my world
And then material is how I found bliss
I am sane, but fidgety, about it all
How did I get here?

I still want the wings to fly across
Wet my feet in the sprinkles of magic
I have wishes unfulfilled and yet
How did I get here?

I detest the face in my mirror
I look at the extra inches and cry
Losing esteem is not my beauty, yet
How did I get here?

I let the enemies get the best of me
I get the opinions overpower my being
I be the best, and feel the worst,
How did I get here?

Engulfing darkness is because unrest
I do not know what I seek next
I want the skies I was flying in once
How did I get here?

I wipe out the tears that are tying
I comb those hairs and line my eyes
A kiss to my being is needed I guess
How did I get here?

As the temperatures start to dip again
I revisit dreams of last year again
And see your reflections smiling at me
How did I get here?

I make that promise of a lifetime again
Of happiness, joy and love sprinkled
I believe in all that I have to find
And romance another route to there

So I can say

I am glad I got here

With you
With myself
And life quota
Of kisses.

Thank You

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As the year ends, I can say nothing but big thank you to it. There are many things I might not have got this year, but there were many many more that I did. This year restored my faith in magic, in faith, in belives, and most importantly in myself. I am guilty of ignoring this blog or any blog this year but that doesn’t mean I never wrote. I did write here and there but somehow never committed to writing regularly as life kept way too busy and I am so glad.

I entered 2016 with a very positive blend of mind and a belief in magic. I felt it was beautiful and that it will fulfill my dreams and it lived up to it. Somehow I feel I attracted all that to me with my faith and that makes me believe much more in magic than I ever did. As the year went by, each month became better and better. I had one aim to fulfill this year and I tied it in a ribbon of goals when I stepped into it. And destiny decided I get it with all the grandeur. This year was all about stability. About dream positions. About ambition. About financial security. It was about proving my mettle. About the first step. And it all came true with so much beauty that it looked dream like. And I have so much gratitude for this and lot more.

I plan to enter 2017 with much more positivity and love and I can see it fulfilling all that was left incomplete this year. We can have one main focus and priority at one time and that is one reason the year that is going made me satisfied and happy in one realm.  For all other realms, there are other years. For I feel this year broke the spell of bad years and now all that is in store are good years and more magic and more love.

Before I say goodbye to this year, I want to sum it up in rhymes for myself, for you, for the world and tell them, life is indeed good, just believe so. For bad happens to enjoy the good. For hurt happens to feel the love. For enemies exist to recognise the friends. In the end, good determination, good work and goodness does win.

So keep the magic flowing 🙂

New year, new hope, new magic
Positivity, believes and faith
January sun brought out hidden
And I danced in magical rays again.

February often brings out our love
This time it brought some baby steps
After a silent month, light peeped
And I embraced it with more smiles.

March was the month of unexpectedness
As if destiny was finally working fast
Back to my old den I was with brightness
Relishing the friends who stood with me.

Birthday month gave me all that I sought
Some unexpected letters and some exams
I won in the eyes of myself the way I stood
Like magic, I saw, and won what was mine.

Beautiful May brought my bearings to me
The month etched in my destiny for long now
Dream position fell down in my lap this time
Like the apple that was awaiting the fall.

June is often the most harsh in weathers
But this time it was lot of smiling work
A vacation was taken after quite long
The most beautiful one it indeed was.

July brought some more works in my lap
And some more beautiful memories intact
Some excitement it brought along with it
With the sibling visit from across oceans.

August went off just like a whim of fancies
Tied up with the semester drains and pupils
Mixed with surprises wrapped in appreciations
And fun vibes along with some dream gifts.

Rosy september I call it for it gave dears
It was about busy days and bit of fun
It was about catching up and getting crazy
For after every sweat you need mad gangs.

October tagged along with it few special ones
A day splashed with conversations  with one
And few days of mad craziness with another 
Mixed with mad rush of deadlines I managed.

November is forever love since a while
It brings along my yearly quota of smiles 
Through perseverance I emerged taller
The one people trusted with crucial secrets.

O December you were very hectic this time 
Long days, meetings and learnings  I saw
New contacts, old retained, with lauding
Warnings,  missed  fun, but gratitude still.

So, this was my year in twelve paragraphs and it was all so good. I hated in bits the fact that I gained more weight but then I learned one important fact that if I hated that part of me and felt ashamed of it I will never learn loving me as a whole and that helped with the confidence and that is the first step in regaining one’s body back. Overall, 2016 was satifying and content year. I wish for a more fitter and love filled 2017 for thats the next thing I seek after what I got in 2016.

Here to a beautiful 2017 to all of you 🙂

HAPPY NEW YEAR! 

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Struggles and Hope

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Words refuse to flow,and I struggle.
Struggle to survive in land, of magic,
I wonder if this was the end, of the story,
The one that made me smile, with love.

Then I wonder maybe times changed, a lot
From tears to smiles quite a journey, I saw
There isn’t something amiss as I see, across
But the emptiness still knocks on and off, here.

I smile, I fly, I whisper, I do it all, happily
Law of attraction, worked, say, my miracles
In my kitty came all that I waited, for years
Dreams fulfilment were the first step, to destiny.

Then I stir the heart within, seeking some more,
Love, was all I was living for, which is lost, maybe
Around in forms and shapes of blessings, it exist
But in forms I dreamed of always, they show, no light.

Friends, nicety, and lot of good I see around, but then
Life teaches me , selfishness I notice, wariness learnt
Maybe people aren’t that kind, but I am no fool, as well
Family is around, kind people are, and I smile with it all.

Then I desire a bit extra, a little bit more, of settlement
Some more laughs, some deep conversations, and quite much
I wonder, if all that, and much, are around, fulfillment
Or life has bit much more of struggles, for love, and peace.

I jump with excitement, over that name, over that laugh
Love, still makes me, and I desire, a hand, and an embrace
I seek, pure love, of the touch, of that newborn, by us
I believe, I smile, I chose that path again, of true hope.

Hope, excitement, dreams, and a lot more, still like words
And they flow, not just when the heart pains more, I see
So I coin more and more in my imaginations, to feel
As the passion strikes, words flows, and I smile, in bits, much.

Copyright 

P.S. : I was thinking of putting thoughts to words but then poetry flowed. Thank you Dip for that encouragement. I badly needed to go back to words. I feel so good. I hope to write more now on. Criticism are very much welcome.

P.S.S. : Life has been way too kind. Hope it is so for all my readers too.

Autumn Newness

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To autumn,
To rebirth,
To newness,
To beginnings.

To change,
To hope,
To beauty,
To peace.

To renewal,
To promises,
To believes,
To confidence.

To smiles,
To happiness,
To fulfillment,
To enjoyment.

To bonds,
To humour,
To games,
To chemistry.

To colleagues,
To lunches,
To conversations,
To friendships.

To Infatuations,
To coffees,
To dates,
To love.

To distances,
To missings,
To wishes,
To stories.

To hopes,
To destiny,
To fate,
To worthiness.

Written as part of OctPoWriMo Writing Prompt Day 5: Autumn Poetry

Happy 200th

Hello everyone,

I know I have been missing for too long. Life has been just so busy that I forgot to write. Months back when I wrote my last post, I decided my next post will be extra special, and in that need for perfection, I forgot to share tidbits that make it all special and hence life engulfed me more.

I wanted this 200th post to be a guest post, but my friends are equally like me and life became too happening for them too. In the process, I missed important milestones of my blog. I completed four years of this blog ( which was initially started on blogger) on valentine’s day and missed the special post. I had an awesome yet silent birthday this year and I even missed that. But most important, I lost the fervor to write, world literally pulled me in me so much that all I read is work and all I write is work.

But then that doesn’t mean I didn’t do much. This year has been thankfully pretty happy. I knew it will be and it was. I miss writing nonsensical poems on my phone now, but then maybe its good. For mostly I used to write when I am sad, and I haven’t really written much sad poems this year. I even hardly go to my poetry club meets. But I am glad I am part of it, as it filled my vacuum last year and gave me awesome friends. Some friends who helped me sail this year too, when I needed.

Now, I meet people more though. I tweet few lines when little inspired. I post on instagram and love it. Maybe I like keeping my love for photographs. But I miss reading you all and writing here.

Life has a schedule now. Which says even if you sleep late, better get up early. And when home, you have so much to do that you should not think of all that upsets you. Meet people that make you smile and be glad they are there when you need them. This birthday, most special people of my life had long phone conversations unlike just short ones and I loved it more than anything else. I got my favorite cake and people told me they love me and I smiled. I have friends I can ping when messed up and friends I can meet to explore food. I have ones who give me poetry meetups and one’s who can see my face and read my mood. Lot of love all around and yet something missing. But I am glad for everything has a time. Maybe it will be time to love again too someday.

I enjoyed my work stint which was for one semester. I got my first salary and life moved.  Past three months taught me much more than I can ever imagine. It gave me confidence, it gave me identity. From the anxious, giddy girl who fiddles and whose words used to freeze in front of the crowd I became someone many loved and learnt a lot. From that nervous, messed up speaker on my first day of work (in-spite of all the preparations), I turned into someone who gave an impromptu farewell speech without faltering down. Next semester will be something new, but now I know I will not sit in vacuum. I just pray I get that dream permanent stint soon too. For hope is showing and wish it ends as a positive success. All along I always thought the profession that chose me isn’t for me, but last few months told me I was wrong, for I love what I do. I get smiles too in the process and I am glad.

All I miss is writing and being inspired. I miss reading fiction. I miss all things literature. But maybe, this was it. Or maybe not. Maybe someday I will be inspired enough again. Till then pray for all things good for me. And even love and happiness.

I seek to sprinkle some love
In the rough blankets of life
Spreading magic of smiles around
For that is all I know.

Cheers till then,
Hopefully we meet soon again.

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