Regrets and Law of Attraction

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Do you guys have regrets? Or is life way too beautiful for us to get ourselves stuck with them? Do you feel we have what is known as temporary moments of regrets? If it was not so, how come we don’t regret those marks or the misses we once did? Or do we attract all the wrong decisions to us too which make us nearer and nearer to our real goal in this life?

Today, while on my evening walk these were the thoughts that were occupying my brain. I have been reading the book ‘The Secret’ off late and I was wondering how we attract even bad decisions and how we repel people we don’t want to stay longer? I think it might be due to law of attraction. If not, how do I not remember all that I regretted or hated once? How come my messes have no play in today’s life? I messed my boards and wanted to disappear and yet I don’t regret or even remember it now? I regretted leaving literature once but it was not in my hands. If I had pursued, life would have been different. But would it have been what it is today?  If I had pursued science I might never have fallen deeply for literature as I did  or even discovered I had the talent to write. I never did bad when it comes to studies after school maybe because I did what I had capability for and what if I had not? If I had pursued literature more, all novels would have turned work not love and passion. I might have stayed in the same university and not seen hostel life and might not have fallen in love right? And what is life without love man. I might not grown up as much I did. From innocence to strength I saw it all. Infact love gives us such courage that we know not of. I once let go off many things for love and I feel it was all for good. Infact I feel its good I never moved out for its only lucky children who get to be there taking care of aging parents. That is one regret I wouldn’t have want for that would have stayed forever. Of not spending enough time with parents. My life is still not sorted but now I feel I am content at what I do atleast and its beautiful and I feel I attract or repel decisions too.

For a long time in life I felt I was God’s chosen angel. And then I stopped believing and he stopped answering. Yet when I think now. All along he was hearing it too. He got me rid of wrong people when I couldn’t take them anymore. All I needed was to say and like magic they said goodbye themselves. It was funny but it still happens. Coincidently, I have even attracted guys I dated or crushed. They used to be this popular guy every one wanted and like magic they liked me. But then the ones I knew it was a hopeless struggle got repelled and left too. I believe in being chosen more now so it happens easily and I know it. I even get over people after initial day or so after realisation dawns of what a mess it would have been if they had stayed. So I think now whatever I have in abundance today is because I always believe I can never be short of this and it is so.

We all have struggles. I still have more in future. But every wrong decision made me move closer to the person I am and that is beautiful. As a result I don’t regret. I just close my eyes and thank certain things for existing and others to go. But when I fear losing I do lose. For I am not sure of myself.

So something like law of attraction exists. If it has to work, don’t regret. Why regret what made you happy? Why regret love or losing when it makes you a winner someday? All we need is some courage to make all we want a reality. And rest, life is indeed beautiful.

Till next time,

Live, Love and Laugh.

P.S. I never asked how you guys doing? I miss writing so this was one of those random writings. Hopefully I can write more this year. And yes, Happy New Year you guys:)

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Goodbye 2015

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Every year when I say goodbye to a year, I try dumping all the negativity into a bin and open my arms to embrace the next beautifully. Winters do that to me and I am just so glad. Last year had quite a tricky december and so the year that came followed suit. But then dark clouds went as the year entered its second half. And if I believe in signs, I think all negativity has somehow gone off thanks to the beauty that was the second half of my year.

So let’s analyse what all this year gave me and what it took over and be glad for whatever it ended up being.  This is gonna be a lot like the month of the year challenge as I am clueless what to be glad for and what to erase. So let me summarise each month seperately.  Let me be rhythmic a bit, for that is how my brain works the best.

The year that was, the year that is
Full of struggles, and some sweet fruits
There were quit bit of tears, yet some smiles
Yet never left me empty, when I couldn’t take.

The year that was, I know it as tiring
Started with  blunders, gave some respite
Here and there, it tested me often
But while going, gave me only smiles.

January brought many  dilemmas with it
Lost was what was my favorite place to be
Hurt it gave, like I can still not forget
While leaving, gave me a tinge of sunshine.

To overcome hurts, made me meet guardians
In name of colleagues, I met worthy humans
Sometimes being asked is all that is worth
And with it comes smiles that make us glad.

February O february, when did you come and go
I don’t even remember the supersonic speed
It was like a superwoman entered in my life
Handling it all in a day, I tasted my capabilities.

In between all the rush I made few memories
Met a friend who made me all smiles with talks
Danced and laugh on the d-day of another
In all and all, it was a great month for a while.

March you came once again, with your usual damper.
Lost on what was mine, hassled the mind as usual
Dark thoughts and anxious waits made it impossible
Like it was the end of another of the world.

Still, it wasn’t half as bad as one might think
Some beautiful conversations with people we like
Or some baked midnight surprises made it fine
I was just so glad I somehow did survive.

April is most often the special birthday blues
It was good in phases and that made it fine
Kept trying for some good times with hope
It was sullen in many ways yet I was sane.

It brought some girlies outside the screens
I learned how to have fun on off with them
Made pre birthday the most fun in laughter
And cake surprise on the day was the stealer.

Summer was going off just like that
Mostly in sickness, rest in stress
May was my baby’s birthday I remember
June was spent in preparing the next.

I wonder what these months gave me
And I do not know what to say still
But the first half was going off
and I was glad for it this time.

July came, and so did all the tests
Failings were one after the other
Somehow all my merits were short
And I was sick of all that wasn’t mine.

Just like that even August went
I have no idea what it brought
I now think of it as the month
That was last of the worst I saw.

September brought with it some respite
Another beginning, even if not as wanted
There was something that worked again
And smiles were around just like that.

October brought some muse  as I wrote much
Work and pleasure were combined in own ways
A twin visited from across the shores
Laughters and friendship mingled in smiles.

November was end of something nice 
I see it as the premonition of good times
It was something which was mix of it all
Work was light, family tight, friends near.

Like a sunshine, beautiful conversations
Or maybe a kissed sunshine of my heart
It brought visit from the other shore
Of friends held deep in the heart.

December was lot about positivity abound
It was about the believes and attraction
It was about the winter and the chill
It was all about smiling for I feel

It brought famed coincidences to me
It brought money I was awaiting
It brought celebrated drunkenness
In all it brought my writing muse.

Year o year now you end and I thank 
For deleting once that never cared
Bringing and keeping ones that did
For filling me with only hopes now.

I see the year ahead as with only hope
For it is meant to be my destined year
Filled with gifts I desired all along 
And love that resides in its corner. 

Thank you 2015 for existing. Thank you for all those who disappeared without a bye. Thank you for ones who came and filled me with happiness. Thank you for the smiles and laughters. Thank you for friends and acquaintances. Thank you for the lessons of a life time. Most of all thank you for all those satisfied works. As you go, I flush off all negativity, I forgive all that hurt me. You all be history. I wish for only smiles of positivity now on.

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I await you 2016 with beautiful warmth.Prove me right and be the one I forever remember.Be all that and lot more as I see. Be the dreams I never saw. I love you, new beginning.

Happy New Year 2016 to all of you lovelies. Hopefully I write more in the new year  :)

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P.S. : Sorry for a rather long poem but had to do it.

February Learnings

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February. The month of love. The month of newness. The month of hard work. This was one defining month in my life this year. It was a month of learnings. A month of strong bonds. Month of strengths. And a month where I found my calling. A month where I realised that the profession I somehow chose was somehow something I loved doing and in a way made me passionate.

February brought me anxious pangs and trying to cope up with life moments too but I had no complaints. For it made me an ever more ambitious person who knew it’s possible to live your dreams.  It taught me that it was worth sticking to your resolves for in the end it’s your life. February brought me my first job finally after a long wait. Though it was temporary, I was in a field I always wanted to be in. Lot of people called me stupid past year or so for not doing anything that comes my way but thanks to supportive parents I never lost it. And it was worth it. For if I had chosen a more hectic job and different field I would have not have been this happy and satisfied. I might not have not stuck in that workplace for long but it was all worth it.

February also made me closer to certain people in my life who made sure I sailed through that first stressful month of work smilingly. I will cherish that person for that always. February was also about friday socialising. It was about comic cons and birthdays. It was surprise plans and lot of HKV visits. It was about lot of love and hugs.

February was also about lovely students. My first batch of students who made me love my profession. They were the ones who made my day even when I had bad woken up moods. They were one special batch. February was about plain hard work 24X7 to be the best. It was about proving to all that I am the perfectionist and hard worker no one sees. It was about learning to teach older students and learning the art. It was making my profession into my passion.

February was about lot of things. But in the end it was about finding the much needed peace and happiness for my soul which comes from taking first steps towards satisfying future.

Love sprinkled around
In the mist of mornings
In anxious early travels
In new beginnings I saw.

New phase, new moments
In taking baby steps
In turning victorious
Every second moment.

New pressure, new plans
In working the hardest
In giving the best I knew
In learning art of survival.

New bonds, new loves
In the evening outings
In warmest of embraces
In the hand that held.

New smiles, new laughs
In the weekend coffees 
In the impromptu visits
In the memories of a life.

New surprises, new happiness
In the secret expeditions 
In the circle of friends
In moments to cherish forever.

New passion, new satisfaction
In the confidence found alone
In the passion of loving it all
In the yearning to be the best.

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Written as Part of the Month of the Year Writing Prompt 2014-Season4

Hopeful January

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When I first started writing this post, it was just some poetic lines and then I thought something was amiss. I went back and read my posts for the Month of the Year Challenge and realised I mostly used to go for random heart to heart writings in this challenge and always loved it and so why change something which made me happy.

So, I think I will stick with the format and mix prose and poetry in this challenge this year too. I just hope I don’t bore you people much.

I am still aghast at the fact that the year is ending. Just two day back, at a meeting a colleague went ‘Oh the year is ending’, and we all went ‘Gosh. Where did it go?’ and I silently smiled. For somehow this was one sane and comparatively happy year that I spend in a long time.

January brought the much needed hopes and I welcomed 2014 with way too much hope then anyone could even think. Maybe it didn’t lived up to all but then the year didn’t do bad in most areas. I wanted lot of things on the professional front. They were fulfilled to a lot of degree as I loved doing whatever I did professionally this year and I hope the remaining wishes are fulfilled in 2015.

January was about the december that had gone. It was about the smile left after meeting one of my best friend after 2 years in december and the night out that was just about smiles. It was about the new found creativity and the new muse who gave a lot of poems to this blog. I am just glad he ended as just another muse. It was about reminisces and nostalgic memories.

January was about meeting school besties. It was about the gossip sessions and smiles. It was about happiness. It was about the love triangle of us three. It was about cold evenings and long travels. It was about love that stays inspite of all the distances in between.

January was also about new bonds and friends. It was also about failing expectations and hurts. It was about new learnings about humans. It was about learning to let everyone go for your happiness is the most important achievement. It was about new found maturity and care. It was all about priority. It was all about me.

January was about much waited interview calls and hard works. It was working towards something I wanted. It was about skipping some events to fulfill your passions. It was about your work being something that brings the glow in your eyes. It was about conquering anxious pangs and coming out victorious. It was about the feeling when the ‘first work day’ comes. It was about giving your best to something you always wanted. It was about proving all the discouragers wrong.

January was about lot of things. But most of all it was about me. Just like the year was. It was about finding me in the smiles of passion.

New beginnings, new hope
New year, new smiles
I called it love
As the year dawned.

Smilingly waved away
The year that went
And memories of past
Left me enough happiness.

A new muse, a new smile
Some  warmth around of good
Creativity and passion got meshed
As the wintry january was welcomed.

A renewed strength was found alone
After a year of just endless waits
A month that gave me light somehow
The month I realised, year will be good.

Of beautiful feelings, of different writings
Of reunions, with one’s I call my bestest
Of laughters, and love, that filled me
Of tests, of impatience, of goodness.

Of new found friendships, of new carings,
Of pains, of hurts, and  lot of fun
Of facing my fears, of facing the unknown
Of new starts, of finding, my own end.

Of anxious learnings, of prayers and fears
Of hope to prove, of taking one more step
Of that winter, that ended up most fruitful
Of all that, the next month brought forth.

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Written as Part of the Month of the Year Writing Prompt 2014-Season4

P.S. : With this post, I take part in the second writing challenge this year and hope to finish it. This is for my dearest friend  Lady Nimue :)

Love

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Hello everyone,

Life have been just very hectic and I had to let go off #OctPoWriMo in the last days. But its unfair I couldn’t complete it so I thought even if late let me just finish it today for it was something I took to challenge myself:).

So here to the last three days:)

Day 29

Love that was mad, I say
Consuming all that was me
Blissfully unaware of all
I lived in it madly each day.

Taught what nothing else could
Breathed in it, what others wanted
Heaven was his embrace, all together
Left me in shackles, to strengthen.

Seeking that love, in infatuations today
Gratitude I carry, for it did happen
Prayers for little bit more of it today
Even if less, but consuming I want still.

Day 30

On the day before, he decided to leave
I knew this was it, even if he didn’t
Taken aback was I, by lot of what he said
Shaken, yet I stood still, that moment.

Last night I call it, for what was  ‘us’
For what remained was, you and I later,
Yearnings and hurts sparkled in tears
A long darkness I saw later, but I lived.

Never forgotten,what the day before was,
Decisions I stuck to, for long even afters,
Today I feel the peace within, with bruises,
For today, my heart still knows, pure love.

Day 31

Writing whatever the heart felt,
In verses, in brief, in elongated terms,
I smile at the poetry, the month gave to me,
Almost missed the challenge, yet I wrote.

Scarcity of time, loads of work that brain had
Yet, peace was found, when I sat to write
A journey, to find, what I was loosing within,
Words, that were my love, were found somehow.

Experience, of joys, and pains, but still worthwhile
All penned, and shared, flowing out in the world,
Feeling, I didn’t know, were waving out to me
And today I smile, for somehow I lived to my promise.

Written as part of OctPoWriMo Writing Prompt Day 29: For All the Loves You’ve Loved Before , Day 30: The Day Before…Day 31: Poetry Writing Challenges

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P.S. : This is for Morgan Dragonwillow  for she pushed me to take up this challenge inspite of a busy schedule. Though I left in last few days, I am completing it still for myself:)