Rains and Goodbyes

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Rains always tell me a tale. Something sad and something beautiful about it. I used to be a rain person as a child and then as I grow up it always made me dizzy. Then I met someone who always loved rains. All drenched in his red t-shirt in the rainy season he used to tell me his rain escapades. And I used to go angry, for being callous and about falling ill. Often, the next time we met he was sneezing his lungs out and I had that squint look and he had that cute eye smile which always melt me. But such were rains.

Today again, standing on my balcony with a cup of refreshing tea, my earplugs played some beautiful music and rains just drizzled and a mist was in nature. It felt as if memories was calling on to me. Such moments always remind me of his calls and how after repeated calls I used to get a call back to be told that he was driving in thunderous rains and then as I was to go with my anger some music at his end used to just make me go quiet. And with a kiss he used to keep the phone. I remember how my evening walks are empty today, for only he filled the vacuum, for those were the time I conversed with him. It was the time I just lived. But then these was the time when distance gave us no choice, but then he has been with me for years.

Once, I had shared smiles, and long walks and conversations with him. Those tight hugs which never end were always shared. I think no one ever made me smile like he did. Also, no one has irritated me more. But in-spite of everything we had stuck. And then one day he left the city to go back home. What a goodbye it was. I could somehow never let him go and even he said so. He understood and yet, silence spoke.

Today, a friend was saying a goodbye to family and friends and my city was again raining. And all those things made me remember him. He was not the perfect guy, nor he was the prince charming. I would not say no one can love me more but then he was still the best. He was imperfect, he had bad mood swings, he made me cry and he was cold. But then, he was my best friend. He was someone who was bad and said it. He loved his mother the most and said it. He has been a casanova and there were girls who still pursue him and every-time they did he told me. He was complicated and accepted that no one could understand him more than I do and yet adjust. For he loved true. He never said more nor did he hide it all. He was just plain with his thoughts, someone who never lied to me. And that is why I never felt all the evil emotions we feel in relations. Off course, he made me jealous at times and so did I. Also, we knew we had no end and yet we lived the moment for it is what makes us what we are today. In the end, he loved me the most he could.  Even today he is happiest at my success even though its been ages ‘we’ ended. But then he was he. And it rained on the day we said our final goodbye too. For my soul cried and ever he did. Such are soul-mates.

Today, I was also thinking how I always do more for people then I ever get. I learned it from my mother. Give it all and you will be happiest. Even in school, college or university I always made the effort more. And people thought me unworthy to be best friends with. Off course, today I have few friends I am very very thankful for. Also, I made friends who came as angels helped me sail and just left. But, the void is left. For he made me expect nothing and give all and yet feel content. For he stayed in my soul. And always listened when I wanted him to. I was just myself with him and I wish I could have that me back. Past few years I just let people leave for I realize some efforts are never worth it and today I was thinking the same. For some people you don’t have to do much and they find a way back. And I am glad they exist. For others, I am not the first to be thought of. And I realized why should I just give it all.

I also fall. I am also tired. And then I just want to give up. Maybe someday, someone with some love and care will make me love the love. Till then, I watch the rains, and remember him…..

P.S. I am also a believer. I believe someone with much more love than me exists. Someone who will have a crackling chemistry with me to be a best friend for life.  And then maybe I will fall in love with the rain again with a kiss.

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Friends who Touch the Soul

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Been a while I wrote here. Maybe lack of time. Lack of inspiration or just lack of myself. But then I had to write today. Not for myself or you but for people I made friends with yesterday.

It is not like I met strangers. I met people I have known for many months now. But the fact that I gel so well with them that it made it all worth it. From decisions that involved meeting one person to two person….to becoming a gang of four and man we had FUN.

I finally let my hair down after ages and ages. Doctorate had just made me such an apprehensive person. I preferred myself and family to friends or new acquintances and then I realised world has some warm nice people too. Some people exist who just know how to enjoy and let you do it without really judging you. And that are the kind of friends I like and so after many many years I made some real friends whom I absolutely love.

Also, I got drunk 😀 Now that was fun considering I had to take a subway to home after that. But then I reached home pretty fine and was like high on happiness and smiles and friends and looove.

It was a trip of food and drinks and gossips and coffee and the madness. It was like long time friends meeting up after ages and it was amazing.

And these guys made me meet myself so I am all in for meeting people, both old and new. And accepting life as it comes. Maybe life brings something nice now on.

So cheeers to you all:-

Apprehensions were many
Of a girl lost in pain
Hurt in the past more
And lonely in the present day.

Then some magic was sprinkled
In the rains full of blessings
As people believed in my worth
And wanted my presence to stay.

I took some steps, you covered others
Silence over powered by voices
Handshake led to empowering embraces
I tightly let you all enter, the heart.

Some intoxication, some foods and smiles
I was happily crazy in a company only mine
Lot to talk and so less of a time
And yet I was sure I made friends, for a lifetime.

I seek to meet you all, whenever I move ahead
To catch you when you fall, and be picked in my shreds
For it happens very less, we meet people loved so
It is like they touch souls, as if soul-mates.

Dedicated to Arch, AB and Aakansha 🙂

Today I say a small prayer of goodwill to us, for you are someone I want to keep with me always. I hope I never make you go away.

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P.S. I loooove you guyyys so much :* ❤

P.S.S. Arch, you are an angel in disguise for me. I really do love you ❤ And Ab you are one of those gem of a friend people wish to have so I love you for being so ❤ And Aakansha you are this cutest sweetheart of a girl. So much love for you all ❤

P.S.S.S. We have to meeet again soon 😀

P.S.S.S.S. The poetry is way too stupid as I lost my muse somewhere but read it as if coming from my heart 😀

Quiet Love

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Silence speaks to me tonight, like I know not
For moments of laughter, and tears I know not
It whispers all through, in to the ears that hear
It speaks of all the moments, lost forever in haste.

It blows to my side, alphabets only I can recognize
It flew through the dry leaves, in whistles of magic
As the bird preach me alone, of romance in the darkness
The sadness of the road, today has a tale to tell.

A lanky persona falls in memory as I think of the moment
The one closest to winds breeze, of beats conversing alone
A moon whispered some intoxication into those eyes of thy
Uniting the sky to sing a poem, of love that was felt.

Looking through the stars, and trifling through the sand
We teased each other, through the lesson of friendship
A chemistry as of the angels, spoke through our stares
Before we knew, a tree shielded us, in that cold winter night.

Come with me, I said, as I took him through quiet lanes
With not a soul to be seen, I introduced him to senses
To read, what no one ever could, even when mind is crowded
He did it all, as he showered gratitude, with that one kiss.

No royal blood, we belonged to, nor of the uniting flames
Separation was our game, someday lost will we will, in woods
He was the popular one, I was the naive one
One day, we were the sparkling bond, emitting jealousy, to others.

His charm spoke, as I recorded it all in memory, in breaths
We conversed, of words and books, of music and movies
We spoke to realize, we were one in thoughts, with difference
Ultimatum gave our heart, in those times, when fingers intermingled.

Mysterious were his eyes, when they talked of hope, seeing none
I sought to just touch, the soul, hardened to the world ways
One day, It melted like wax, to fall on my feet, and thus begun
Destruction we called it, for there was no way, to return alone.

Once laying him in the grass, I read him the abstract dedication
Poetry heals I said, tears were all he could give, in embrace
To the stars, we sent our story, enveloped in our pains
Promising a visit, every time the pain was way too harsh.

We conversed, today, after all these decades of misery
In silent breaths, of what I could not undergo all alone
Of lives hidden in the moon, and those tiny stars of his
In the breeze I again felt his touch, speaking of his quiet love.

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Also Prompted @3WW, OSI, Sunday Scribblings, Carry on Tuesday, Theme Thursday, Inspiration Monday, Trifecta, Poets United, One Minute Writer, and The Sunday Whirl

Love Re-defined

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Fairy-tales often lure our hopeless crazy hearts. Be it Cinderella, Rapunzel or even Snow white. We often wait for that knight in shining armor who often loses his right path and never reaches us. However, we forget that real life can be much more crazy, fun and lovable if we just get out of the dreams and watch it with open mind and eyes. Just watch that kid running across the road not knowing if there are rules to follow. Or watch that lazy dog lying anywhere waiting for you to adjust because he will just not move.  Also, watch those clouds that just decide to make you smile on a high temperament day and make way for breeze to disturb your hairstyle. Love is there in all those forms and then we wait for non existent phenomenons.

Seen that half moon in that orange sky when it is about to just disappear. And have you ever run to click a picture to keep that moment? Try it and I know its crazy when all the people look at you with open eyes. And you will also feel moon will rise again but the moment wouldn’t. Try giving a smile to that infant in the park and see how it brightens your day. Or just write cluelessly like me in your diary and then read after days for some laughter. Guess what? words and me are having a slight tiff so I am just writing non sense to make them calm so they fall in love with my pen again. So bear with me tonight.

Cumbersome might seem this life at times and trust me I am one morbid character, but have some optimistic thought or maybe believe in some crazy fictional reality and the pressure might ease without you knowing.  I can go on a rampage with words at times and there are days when I plan to go all things sweet and nice and thud my mind goes blank and then I force them out. What am I spilling out is something even I have no idea about.  That made me remember that it is three years since I started blogging in my last blog. And since I exported all posts here, so “Happy Birthday Blog”. So, let me try if I can write bit of mush and poetry today.  After all, if you dwell in my past writes, you will find it is these things which makes this blog all readable and nice . So here I go. Forgive me if it doesn’t smell  of my touch for I am in a slight writers block :-

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He: You actually look nice today.
She: All that is sugar and sweet right?

He: Eh? How about spicey and hot?
She: Meeeen

He: Womeeeen
She: How many?

He: Did I ask the same when you went meeeeeeeeen.
She: Well, women are basically more committed kinds.

He: That is so sexist.
She: Truth it be.

He: The twisted girl truth.
She: “Raised Eyebrow”

He: I love that look of yours
She: “Stare look”

He: Jaan hi le lo tum ( You Take my life only)
She: Ya Ya

He: Mwaaaah
She: “Smiles”

He: Haasi to fassi ( If she laughs, she is yours)
She: Hahahhaha what about your list, Mr casanova ?

He: What list idiot? My list start and ends with you no?
She : Awwww

He: Looouve
She: Yooooou

“Both embrace”

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Everlasting love
Smiling eyes
Dreamy thoughts
All mine.

Tears speak
Hands wipe
Scared steps
All mine.

Fairytales lives
Dream houses
Chocolate kisses
All mine.

Scary fights
Distressed I
 Endless argues
All mine.

Unexpected surprise
Single rose
Burned toasts
All mine.

Phobic alone
Future plans
Confused lanes
All mine.

Starry night
Shining moon
Sparling solitaire
All mine.

Knots tied
One lifetime
Soulmate we
You and I.

Also , Happy Valentine’s Day to believers and non-believers. I am sure in some ways we all believe in love. Love for our parents, our sibling, our cute dog, that adorable infant or maybe that lively surrounding. If none of this, then maybe we love music, words, books or maybe love love. For, I am those hopeless lovers who love LOVE 🙂

So, spread love and enjoy 🙂

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Also prompted @3ww, Poets United, Trifecta and ABC Wednesday ( E for Everlasting)

Rare Love

 “You look like a strict clown here, couldn’t you have smiled in your wedding pictures?”
On the stage, when I was shitting in my pants?”

” It was just your wedding, for Christ’s sake”
“Yes yes, i was being sacrificed for life”

“Very funny”
“Not at all. We got married seriously. Shit”

Now you have no option. You have to wake up everyday seeing my silly face”
“That sounds cute actually”

“Cute as hell right?”
“Not less horrific now, compared to the kind it will be when you get the wrickled face one day. I am scared thinking of it only”(makes horrific face)

” I will look the same always, get it? ” (popping eyeballs)
“You can promise? or you getting botox? I don’t have that much money, girl”

“Grrrrrr…Nope. I wouldn’t change internally, you see?”
“Good, now get me a coffee”

“I can see you have already changed”
“I am a guy”

“So?”
“We have an inborn right to change”

(smirks)
“Don’t give me that look or I will catch you”

“Why? Your heart missed a beat?”*(winks)
“Very filmy”

“Very serious”
“Me? never.I am just a stale catching guy” (smirks)

“You already caught me, when stupid cupid caught you, remember?”
Not that catching, stupid, the other one”  (wicked smile)

“Stay off me, or you are so dead”
“Noppppe, now I have a legal right too”

“Excuse me?”
“Your mom excuses wouldn’t work, I can kiss you in front of her too”

(Eyes wide open)
“Don’t pretend you don’t notice such looks and heard my words. I can do, after all,  I am her pampered son-in-law, darling”

“Stay away” ( runs away)
“How far can you run in one room?”

“Mummmmmmy”( cute fake crying)
(Catching her stole from behind to hug her and whisper)

“What?”
“Yes, my inborn children’s mom”

(sighs)
Mwaaaah

“I can’t help but  love you, my stupid husband”
“I love you, my silly wife”

Two individuals, two lives,
Bubbling with new found love,
In the vitality of existence,
To seek meaning together.

Desires are new,
But dreams old,
They plan to fulfil,
Together like a fairytale.

X- box, or a Louis Vuitton,
Leather, or feathers,
Sports or movies,
Variety and yet spice.

Resting in each other arms,
They kiss some, they fight some
They love some, they cry some
Yet they stay as mine for all.

It was fresh love, all said
Staleness will make it hard
You will cry and dispiced
When look fury sights.

They grew up old together
Tarnishing all claims,
Cradling one chair,
Still kissing to fame.

Embracing the feel,
Even in crackled bones,
They define true love,
Found just in true souls.

I wish everyone reading this post,

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY

Today, make a promise to yourself,

To love yourself the most and be your valentine first before loving anyone else.

And also promise to follow this rule 365 days of the year and see how life changes for best.

Love yourself, pamper yourself, smile crazily, stay happy and be forever blessed. 

 Also Prompted @Inspiration Monday, OSI, Sunday Scribblings, Poets Pantry, Weekend WordsmithTheme Thursday.

Note* :  That dialogue which was initially to be used was-  “Why? Kuch Kuch hoya” , but since the blog is read by not just South Asian audience , I changed it. For South Asian people, I know it appealed and resonated more with the filmy dialogue later and surely make more sense now for you people. For everyone, kuch kuch hoya means same as heart skipping a beat but it is used in reference to a Indian movie- Kuch Kuch Hota Hai which also mean something something happens in heart (stupidly translated). Click this to know more of the reference.

P.S :This is one of the rare posts whose conversations I wrote in mind while still waking up and realized later it could have been the conversation a close friend of mine would have had with her husband post marriage as we all asked her post marriage, he could have atleast smiled. So, dedicated to you too Munza 😉

P.S.S. It would have been two years today for my blog had I stuck to the older one. But since I imported all posts, Happy Birthday, my baby blog ( It’s almost four years since I first started blogging though but I took a long break in between so that doesn’t count ;-)) 🙂