I know I have been missing for too long. Life has been just so busy that I forgot to write. Months back when I wrote my last post, I decided my next post will be extra special, and in that need for perfection, I forgot to share tidbits that make it all special and hence life engulfed me more.
I wanted this 200th post to be a guest post, but my friends are equally like me and life became too happening for them too. In the process, I missed important milestones of my blog. I completed four years of this blog ( which was initially started on blogger) on valentine’s day and missed the special post. I had an awesome yet silent birthday this year and I even missed that. But most important, I lost the fervor to write, world literally pulled me in me so much that all I read is work and all I write is work.
But then that doesn’t mean I didn’t do much. This year has been thankfully pretty happy. I knew it will be and it was. I miss writing nonsensical poems on my phone now, but then maybe its good. For mostly I used to write when I am sad, and I haven’t really written much sad poems this year. I even hardly go to my poetry club meets. But I am glad I am part of it, as it filled my vacuum last year and gave me awesome friends. Some friends who helped me sail this year too, when I needed.
Now, I meet people more though. I tweet few lines when little inspired. I post on instagram and love it. Maybe I like keeping my love for photographs. But I miss reading you all and writing here.
Life has a schedule now. Which says even if you sleep late, better get up early. And when home, you have so much to do that you should not think of all that upsets you. Meet people that make you smile and be glad they are there when you need them. This birthday, most special people of my life had long phone conversations unlike just short ones and I loved it more than anything else. I got my favorite cake and people told me they love me and I smiled. I have friends I can ping when messed up and friends I can meet to explore food. I have ones who give me poetry meetups and one’s who can see my face and read my mood. Lot of love all around and yet something missing. But I am glad for everything has a time. Maybe it will be time to love again too someday.
I enjoyed my work stint which was for one semester. I got my first salary and life moved. Past three months taught me much more than I can ever imagine. It gave me confidence, it gave me identity. From the anxious, giddy girl who fiddles and whose words used to freeze in front of the crowd I became someone many loved and learnt a lot. From that nervous, messed up speaker on my first day of work (in-spite of all the preparations), I turned into someone who gave an impromptu farewell speech without faltering down. Next semester will be something new, but now I know I will not sit in vacuum. I just pray I get that dream permanent stint soon too. For hope is showing and wish it ends as a positive success. All along I always thought the profession that chose me isn’t for me, but last few months told me I was wrong, for I love what I do. I get smiles too in the process and I am glad.
All I miss is writing and being inspired. I miss reading fiction. I miss all things literature. But maybe, this was it. Or maybe not. Maybe someday I will be inspired enough again. Till then pray for all things good for me. And even love and happiness.
I seek to sprinkle some love
In the rough blankets of life
Spreading magic of smiles around
For that is all I know.
Cheers till then,
Hopefully we meet soon again.