Celebrating December

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The December post have been long pending. And I even missed out on the contest deadline but then everything needs closure so this had to be written. How do I describe December- quite eventful I must say. It was a month of travelling, a train journey after ages. It was a month of lot of photography and sight seeing. It was the month of the wedding of my ex- roommate. So a lot of happy happy days in the initial days. Then, it was also the month when sibling and family went back home. So, the nephew crossed seven seas and said his goodbye for a year. The house became very very empty. Also, the year ended on a not so good note with me falling extremely ill. Hence, the new year was welcomed in bed. But, then I was glad it ended.

So, coming to the good parts- the wedding. It was roomie’s wedding so I HAD to go. It was only few months back that she told me that she was seeing a guy for three years and didn’t tell as wanted to tell her mom the first (cute no?) . Well, since weren’t roomie anymore there was no way I had an inkling too. But, then the guy came as no surprise. Back in grad days we used to forever want them together and they pushed off the idea. But then sometimes destiny had other plans. Though I had not talked to him much after a tiff we once had ( It was just overboard sarcastic teasing…and now I guess we can laugh about it).  But, I think she choose the right guy and what was amazing is the families agreed and things took a jet plan speed to heaven. So, finally my best room-mate ( and the only one) found her hero.

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The gift shopping, the packing and all the preparations were fun.  The train journey was fun too. Though, too much food and more of sitting isn’t always good. There was some eye candy to look too but then when your parents travel with you, not much fun 😉 Anyways, music kept company and before I knew the destination arrived. Some sight seeings, loads of food, some music and dance, loaads of pictures, sleepless nights and the wedding was all this trip was about. Though, a lazy day happened when I cursed I should have stayed at her place, as I stayed at a very far off place. But, the day of the wedding just took care of everything. The music function where we made her dance was the fun quotient too. And she looked gorgeous on her D-Day. What was most fun was that I knew lot of people on both sides. So, the whole night of wedding till the goodbye was just too much smiles. The groom and me met after many a years but the fun tease and smile stayed. I remember while one of the function when her sister was talking to him in respect and I by mistake addressed him same way he went like when did you start giving me so much respect . The memories are fun. Also, his forever flirting friend made us all wait before the ceremonies started for he danced rather too much in the drunk state. But, it was fun to meet people and just chill. Though, it was heart breaking to see her mom break down as she having been the most responsible one. But , then that is life.

Anyways, post return was all about more sleeping in a way. We also realized how the week we were away had the nephew going crazy knocking all doors to search for us. Gosh, and before we knew his days with us was over. Goodbyes are tough and was a lot tough for us. He came as a breeze of smiles in a house where parents had almost silent lives post retirement. So, a dismal environment entered the house with half the family left in the house. But, then the nephew had been here for four months which meant lot of memories. However, the first video call post going was toughest for him as he wanted to just jump inside the camera to embrace us. Sigh. And with his going, I fell more sick. A week of extreme fever and what not. It was like bed ridden me. I was on almost no food for a week. But somehow new year was celebrated in sickness but not too bad with everyone cuddled in blanket and watching a movie on the laptop. Though, medicines went for a month, I no longer want sickness in this year. I could say I am sick of sickness 😛

Anyways 2012 went and there were some hopes in the professional front too as  it was leaving. So, hopefully 2013 brings some good developments in my life of waits.

Some walks and some journeys
Some excitement and smiles
As I take a step to move
To refresh the tired soul.

Tired legs continue to walk
As the pictures tell stories
In a city that speaks history
I arrive to create memories.

Waffled is the mind over clothes
And the jewels are all scattered
With some kohl and gloss I line
I am raring to go one extra mile.

Smiles I give to thy friendship
And dance with all my might
For informal was the house around
Having shared mighty roof once.

Expectations were raring to go
And the laziness created arguments
Some cries and some anger around
Yet the day just passed with hope.

The unions of two souls I saw
In holy matrimony I witnessed
Whole night of fun it gave
And removed all the tiredness.

Old friends, new made around
Some harmless flirting mates
Mixed with luscious food
Made it all the more real.

Good byes made it all tough
Re-bonding had somehow happened
Glad was the heart as witness
To love that what sprinkled.

Some sad partings the year saw
But lot more memories it gave
Even a weak body disputed
Be glad the year is now gone

And I welcomed a new year
With all smiles I gathered
Hopes for all dreams I see
I wish it gives what I desire.

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Written as part of Lady Nimue’s Month of the Year Contest -Season 3

Also Prompted @ 3WW, OSI and  Two Shoes Tuesday

P.S.:  Finally, 2012 has been summarized as a whole, so now back to poetry, fictions and the same old blog. But, it was fun to random talk too so I might end up doing that too once a while 🙂

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Lonely Winters

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When one has accomplished one goal and there is no route to other goals, a kind of emptiness sweeps within. You know you are a bundle of dreams, expectations and desires and yet you are seen as one useless person for you are just waiting. And that sucks like nothing. October and November did that to me. I could still not get out of my city for a vacation and hence the stress quotient wasn’t relieved much and on top of it, illness crept in badly with almost everyone falling ill. So, the month was about medicines, sleeps, arguments, bad moods and what not.

Also, some realizations happened. Some relationships are of sort where  love is too much when apart, and too many disagreements when together.  Nevertheless, too much love kills for there are too many expectations.  But then, we manage for we have to. Again these months were isolated ones, when the social and friend circle were not present any near. So, a really dark winter in a way.

However, October did give one nice occasion to celebrate. A festival we made into a mini celebration for the family. Apart from loads of cooking, self pampering and shopping, we made it a fun day for our cute baby. Since, the baby’s first birthday was a video call one , we decided to bake a cake and celebrate one in our own ways. I managed to bake a cake apart from all other things and one tiny smash cup cake for him. And all of it did get done on time. Nice clothes, loads of photography, much more foods and load and load of smiles the day brought. Baby looked the cutest with his dangling long hair ( which got cut the next day and in a day he transformed from a baby to a big boy). The traditional attire look was best on our angel too but best was him carrying his cup cake in whole house and soiling around even if he hardly ate.  But, the cake was a hit and for the first time my sibling actually said you did bake one awesome cake. Totally worth it all.

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Naked truths stood upfront,
Vacant lies the within
Tears roll across again
To fight inner recesses.

I fall, I detest it
Hidden are all goals
Focused ideas are empty
I am everything but me.

Jar of wishes is ajar
I desire to pick a jelly
Blooming with all love
Yet, that step seems far.

Idle looks my present
To all who sees carelessness
Turmoil I carry across
No one but the mind knows.

Load of expectations kills
Aware I, of all responsibility
The child within wants to play
One last time, like the end.

I reside all alone
In the middle of nowhere
To find a purpose or light
Where lies the path of sight.

An angel exists as a cure
Pairing smiles,  to sad tears
Giving sparks of happiness
And  I smile a bit.

Separation from you was hardest
When sickness found its way
I can never forget your excitement
When I smiled to your jigs.

For that moment I promise to cheer
Once and for all things dear
And say hello to rays
For my little sunshine there.

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Written as part of Lady Nimue’s Month of the Year Writing Prompt-Season 3.

Also Prompted @ 3WW, OSI, The Sunday Whirl, Inspiration Monday, Trifecta and Two Shoes Tuesday.

Freedom Redefined

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July ended and there was this sense of extreme freedom which can never be defined. I had no idea what will happen next but all I knew was that a milestone was indeed achieved. An ecstasy that could never be expressed. All I needed was some rest, good food and just loads of sleep. Nothing really mattered at that time. A vacuum was left, with choices. It was up to me to make the decision to move wherever I want and yet I was utterly confused. But, then freedom was redefined in the month that followed.

August was a month of some spirituality for me. A bit of rest, a lot of fun, socializing again and loads of spiritual cleansing.  It was also a month of mental peace after a long time. I didn’t even realize where the month went in fasts and sleeps and foods. But yes, it was also a month of lot of post stress illness. Sigh, I am still fighting ill health even after six months. I even ended falling ill on day of a feast and spent the day in bed when the house was supposed to rejoice. So, August was not really good or bad but it did ended on a beautiful note.

Last week of August meant me going on few months of sabbatical as many saw. Well, the explanation for it was just one. A family reunion after a while. And the first glimpse of my year something nephew. Though, virtual and social isolation happened, my home was one joy ride.

August brought a little member to my house who took away all worries and brought only smiles. That night, the airport wait and sleeplessness was worth that first touch, embrace and smile. He was to become that one baby, that I could carry like my own and spend hours and hours with. Also, he brought unlimited happiness to the stressed house of old parents.

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Reunions also meant some priceless gifts. I got my lucky stone as an astonishing gift I can never express. A gift I now call as my luck quotient which my sibling gifted me. My first apple product arrived and loads of cosmetics and gifts I cherish apart from my chocolates :-). But, the best gift will always be that little angel of mine.

Before, I knew September was here . September was all about sleeping, smiles, loads of food, lot of outings and shopping  It also meant lot of partying, few meetups, and lots of eating outs. And amidst these things, I learnt and grew a few more. Baby in the house taught a lot many lessons. Lessons to change diapers and clothes,  putting a crying baby to sleep, taking care of the cranky and hungry infant and loads of smiles. The first experience of being like a semi-mom was indeed good and best is when the infant uses his teasing antics on you which makes you just laugh. Trust me making a baby laugh his lungs out is the best stress buster. So, fall was indeed a season of just family and smiles.

Freedom was setting me free,
Glint in the eyes speak,
Dreams were all mine,
As I set foot on another mission.

Reflections of what past by,
And what were to be achieved,
In the glory of the August sky
Redefined all that was mine.

One broken string stood lose
For I was too afraid to pick
What I left in the dark
Ages back in unknown quests.

Pen still attracted the creative
Decisions to take it ahead sprinkled
I smiled as words were set free
In the fall of the leaves.

Paradise unleashed in my home,
As a tiny tot took its step in
And transformed life of all
That were connected to its veins.

Laughs and some smiles, it gave
Wiping tears whenever they came
Lifeline was created in the hearts
Erasing all bitterness with his gibberish.

September flowered in all its glory
After effect of some nice story
Reunions, and lot of affections
Ruled life of all dear ones.

Learning new rules of life,
Was this new phase I lived,
Even in soiled hands and mess
I danced to tunes of my rock-star.

As I rejoiced in my freedom,
I sat down to pray again ,
Seeking only happiness around,
In months that change fates.

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Written as part of Lady Nimue’s Month of the Year Contest-Season 3.

Also Prompted @Sunday Scribblings, Inspiration Monday, Poets United, OSI  and Thursday Poets Rally-Week 77.

Testing July

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July….Sigh….The Horrible July. How do I define this month- Tearful, stressful, path-breaking, testing limits, break downs, quitting urges, but maybe in the end-Task Completed.

July meant lots of running around, after all it was a month of the deadline, final level of editing. Running round and round the supervisor, and all the baggage that came with it. It was also a month of isolation and total cut off from the world. What a roller coaster ride it was.

A week of anxiety, of fear if it will be. Idle wandering to see if it will be done. And then the real hard-work of editing from dawn to dusk.  A day came when patience gave way and I broke the first time in front of the supervisor. I saw the kindness in the panicked her in the way with which she assured I will see that the task will be done. And then back to square one-days and days of only breakdowns,quitting thoughts, nervous parents and sleepless, hunger less, stress full me.

And then the last day arrived. Inspite of all doubts and last minute issues which assured I will miss the deadline- I Submitted. Ahhh, What a sigh of relief. Five years of work, bundled in that one bind. What ecstasy. Post work  stress illness happened and July remained horrible. But then, I accomplished what I started. Testing me and achieving even beyond my capabilities.

A first draft of the pains,
Laid in my hand as I await
That acceptance from above
Of work processing to finish.

From their busy life, and idle me
To the painful days of stress
Morning to evening, nagging head
And choked within, doubting myself.

Tears, breakdowns, worthless thoughts
I saw it all in few weeks time
The pace was fast, and patience nil
Still, I struggled to survive each day.

Kindness of the family, pacified in bits
The phone call mostly panickied me
For the errors were reported all the time
But I worked and worked, till all limits.

Days went, when it all seemed worthless
For nothing is more important than sanity
But then certain powers let me push beyond
I crippled but in the end reach the line.

Smile was all I could think now
When that work waited to be submitted
For one task was completed to set me free
And made me a winner, one time I wanted.

The result is still to be mine
And if the prayers stay, smile will reign
For now, I was glad, years of hard work won
I emerged victorious and smilingly free.

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Written as part of Nimue’s Month of the Year Writing Prompt-Season 3

Also Prompted @3WW, Easy Street Prompts and Poets United

Turbulent Summers

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Firstly, apologies to the readers and Nimue for not completing the Month of the Year challenge in December 2012 as I fell severely ill. But, starting 2013 with a baggage doesn’t seem a good idea so I was granted 15 days extension thanks to Nimue. Thanks darling. I promise, to write it all this time.

Let me just jumble May and June together in the monthly challenge. To be honest, May and June were just too identical in 2012. I mean they meant just one thing, pure hard work from dawn to dusk. And the hard work of the kind, I doubt I ever did. After all, the project was life breaking (which I submitted in July end). So, I doubt I got time to even breath. It was just books, loads of reading, than the loads of writings and re- writings and task to finish on time. I doubt I had any outings. I even missed some nice gatherings. On top of it all- the scorching heat.

Yet, there was the Nephew’s birthday. But sadly got no time to bake. The cake was bought and cut over on a Skype call. So sweet memories 🙂

So, in essence, May and June were the stormy summers for me, filled with hard work, super stress, falling ill , and many nervous breakdowns. It had some bonding friendships too , but they were there till project lasted. Some colleagues are just so selfish. All that I needed in this period was the jest to survive it all.

A world of impossibilities it seems
In the sweaty hand that scribbled
This time to survive, the hardships
Possibilities were to be made, in summers.

I have been defiant, in the past
Rolling in my own sky, and losing
Now no options, stood ahead me
It was to be done, to move ahead.

Watching were the heavenly skies
Said my well wishers, all around
Every time I broke and lost spirit
To achieve it all, one last time.

I whispered “Again?” to myself
For the ordeal was not new
But I had past of failures I detest
I prayed for the strength till the last.

And with those strengthening words
I scribbled, I cried, I died within
I smiled, I succeeded, and broke more
But in the end, the first step was completed.

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Written as part of Lady Nimue’s Month of the Year Writing Prompt-Season 3.

Also Prompted @ Inspiration Monday, OSI, Sunday Scribblings, Theme Thursday, DVerse Poets Pub and Trifecta.