Happy December

So finally the year ends. The only good thing about this year was December ( And offcourse my Nephew :D). Aftermath of lot of retrospect thoughts and certain days dedicated to myself was that I emerged stronger, happier and a better person. I started focusing on reading lot of my academic book and finally realized I can indeed write a good researched thesis. I was not really happy with my topic for a long time as the subject I was interested in was rejected due to ulterior motives of few people and it was something I was passionate for. But then I realized I can work well with the topic I have and link it to the other work in the long run. So in short I am starting to love my work and falling in love with it. And that’s sign of a excellent end product. Because when I love something I end up with the best 🙂

I have been a bundle of negativity and loads of sob stories in the whole year. And finally decided to thrash it all away. I started focusing on getting myself fit. Meditation and cardiac excercises helped me lose weight and made my day happier. I studied with a fresh mind. Read books I love, watch movies when low, loved watching my cookery shows and actually got to have healthy discussions  of work with my sibling (not just fights :P). In short, I fell in love with my myself all over again.

I realized I have some amazing friends I should be thankful for. Friends I can call at anytime of day and they listen, friends who make me smile always, friends who stand like pillars and friends who love me inspite of all my sadness. Friends who are beautiful part of my life and make me enjoy it all the time. I made some new friends, got closer some old friends, regained the spark with my bestest friend and got to know some real good people. I was thankful, I had deleted certain friends off my life who was blot on the word called ‘ friendship’. My parents were learning to see me as a responsible adult. My brother was gaining trust in my abilities. And my relationships with myself was happy and I didn’t needed a jerk for that. In short, life was becoming happier by making relationships and friendships in my life so very stable.

I started believing in my dreams and my abilities. I believed happiness is right across the door and I can reach the zenith of my dreams to make everyone proud. I can end up fulfilling my parents dreams, my brother dreams as well my dreams if I just believe. And God still loves me, so my knight will surely come when I least expect and he will be someone my family will smile to give my hand to :). In short, dreams make me and I don’t mind dreaming all the time as that is just so ME.

And how can I forget, December brought this beautiful forgiveness feeling. I plan to write a last post of this year today about it. Its about forgiving all who made me bitter over the years- my exes, my ex best friends, my brother (sometimes), my sister in law, everyone who hurts and everyone who couldn’t see the real me. I pity the one who couldn’t see the real me and I seek forgiveness for ones I hurt. In short I forgive all and I forgive myself. I forgive myself for the regrets and mistakes because had they not happened, life wouldn’t be the way it is and I wouldn’t be the person I am. I believe the almighty has something beyond perfect in store for me to test me for rather too long. And 2012 is the gift he is giving me to see a glimpse of all the happiness. I know I am expecting a lot but I am not, I am just believing in the year which has my birth date included in it 🙂

Also I moved blogs, turned bit anonymous and all that led to unleashing my creative streak. My muse is back and I have not blogged the whole year as much I did in this one month and I simply loved it. I love the wordpress platform and my template , it gives such a warm home feeling. I might have lost lot of my followers but got to read a lot of good stuff and follow some amazing writers. Thanks to all friends who stuck to me in this change and all the new followers I gained. I love you all.

Beautiful smiles awaited
As December came along
I smiled to welcome
A month of freshness.

I loved the smell
I loved the cold
I loved the books
I love the myself.

I deleted bitterness
I emptied negativity
I forgive who hurts
I forgive me for hurting.

I believed in dreams
I believed in life
I believed in love
I believed in new year.

I would like to thank Purvi  for giving me an award. I cherish it a lot 🙂 . It encouraged me to write a lot more having received the appreciation. Sorry for being late in this post.

7 Random things about me :-

  1. I day dream a lot and actually converse a lot in those dreams right from childhood. Some of those imaginative conversations find way into my writings as well.
  2. I went completely bald twice in my pre-teens- in 6th and 7th standard.
  3. I am crazy about chocolates and actually stole and hid one swiss chocolate when my share got over as a child. Though it was found later by bro but he still teases me about it 😛
  4. I started writing poems more seriously as a result of a major crush on a classmate in college.
  5. My first crush lasted around 5 years. Even more than any of my relationships :P. And I gained back touch with him via social networking after 10 years. ( Though he still doesn’t know about my crush)
  6. I way too sensitive and caring when it comes to relationships with friends, family and people I love. I am a strong personality and come across as arrogant or cold by few people but its some people I am closest to who can only see my weak side. I have had my trust broken a lot and yet I can’t help but trusting people and get attached too much rather soon.
  7. I have grown up with cats and absolutely love them and want to own one someday.

Here are the rules for the Versatile Blogger Award:

  1. Nominate 10-15 fellow bloggers (you’ll find my list at the end)
  2. Inform the bloggers of their nomination
  3. Share 7 random things about yourself
  4. Thank the blogger who nominated you
  5. Add the Versatile Blogger Award Pic on your blog post.

I Nominate :-

  1. Meethi Mirchi– An awesome friend and an amazing haiku writer 😀
  2. Lady Nimue– A very special friend who I own a lot of poetry learning to 😀
  3. Yogesh– A amazing writer, A great cook and an fantastic friend 😀
  4. Tbg – He is the greatest blessing I got in form of friend this year. Word fall short to tell what a great support he is. I nominate you so you blog in 2012 😀
  5. Ms. R.– My twin, My best friend here and an awesome writer 🙂
  6. Nil– She is one genuis writer I love totally:)
  7. Poohi– The girl with the cutest smile and awesome writing style. I Looove her and her poems 🙂
  8. Sulagna– An awesome friend, a great wife and even greater mother. I love her and her blog beyond words:D
  9. Blahblaholic– One of the most cutest girl I know and writes amazing stuff too 🙂
  10. WJ– She is a sweetheart and an awesome photographer. I absolutely love her and all what she writes 🙂
  11. Raaji– She writes magical. I get lost in a different world whenever I read her 🙂
  12. Uncle Jack– His experiences in life are such that each time I read him I learn a lot and to add it all he is such a great human that I am proud to know him:)
  13. Suruchi– Ms Gorgeous who has been with me in my best and worse times. She has a way with words and she just makes me smile with it always 🙂
  14. Kellie Elmore– An amazing writer I discovered recently . She makes me fall in love with words she writes always:)
Keep Smiling. Be happy. Be blessed 🙂

 

Winter Love

Its been years gone
But memories are fresh
Of the day you said bye
To the singleton life.

The month was indeed heavy
Festive was the air around
As October end would come
To give a new phase to you.

Smiles and tears were mixed
Nostalgic moments we shared
But happiness had no bar
As you indeed found the prince.

The best wedding I ever saw
And lived every moments in it
Heart was happy as you went
And tears didn’t really stop.

Little angel color your world
And I smell happiness around
Glad is me for the friendship
That stayed even post changes.

I met someone on the same day
Year later, I wish I shouldn’t
And I cried to wipe  memories
This year renewal, I pray to.

I was harsh to being loved
Life left me no choices now
Selfish I was to be seek sanity
I cry for forgiveness from you.

Hated me some, loved some
Winter was indeed coming
To bring some peace back
I pray happiness for forever.

First winters they were to me
When I fell in complete love
With this one beautiful season
As the cold breeze came along.

Cold often made me wary
November was no less still
I was bitter and scorned
Pulling my brain into dark.

Demolishing the own spirit
To love and live completely
Regretting decision I made
Regressing in past nostalgia.

An Angel I bombarded always
With my digressing live stories
Patiently he contained anger
For the care he forever felt.

One night stress of the bond
Overcame both of us together
And made me aware, he again
Stopping happiness I was .

Hated him I did in the anger
Wanting to have a cold war
Then the cooled me realized
The truth in the words said.

Taking break from life I lived
Time made me  analyze myself
Removing  all the hatreds I had
Bitter and negatives I erased all.

Transformation I was taking
As the last month arrived now
Smiling more, Loving what I did
Firmly I set eyes to goals of joys.

I thank you O my dearest friend
You are the rare blessing I got
From the misery of this ‘bad’year
I resolved to love myself again .

Resolving to smile all  the times
Feeling the beauty around me
I aim to spread happiness always
As live I to reach laurels pretty.

P.S. : This also happen to be my 100th post.  I dedicate this to the friend who made me a better human by his scoldings, advises and words inspite of all his busy life. You heard all my boring talks and was there for me always and ever. I am sorry from the heart for whenever I hurt you. You are the greatest friend anyone can have and I wish this friendship remains forever. I am sure the wordings would have made you know who YOU are. I love you, my guardian angel 🙂

Written as part of The Month of the Year Challenge-Season 2.

Also Prompted @3WW, OSI and Sunday Scribblings

Sprinkling Rains

Rains they come along
Each year mid year
Evaporating sun shines
Tempting me to solitude.

August had heavens
Crying for our pains
As we searched reasons
To be jubilant in darks.

Sometimes it was reunions
Sometimes some celebrations
Some beautiful smiles came
Some happy tears it brought.

It signifies change in us
With hot breeze moving sides
Hard work it meant often
As the vacations said goodbye.

I look forward to bright future
Breath taking turn next year takes
With life coming full circle in all
To marking new phase in life of mine.

The  soft  breezes speaking
As rains make night chill
I smile in this very month
Which celebrate my bests.

Yearly coffee meeting win
Smiles in the hearts of  love
Group of childhood friends
Meet to speak of all inside.

Some relaxing moments
As work took settlement
For it was the September
With the luck tied within.

This year I never  realize
When you came with stress
Moments of umpteen works
And  confident smile in end.

You left with a lot of tears
And the worse nightmares
I ever saw in the lifetime
Making me stronger more.

Some bonds I forever made
Some heart I eternally broke
Some hurted me into piece
Some took care to join me.

Life taught lessons last
I sought to remember
And bitterness I drown
In  river of forgiveness.

Written as part of  The Month of the Year Challenge-Season 2

Also Prompted @Thursday Poets Rally- Week 59  and Theme Thursday

Summer blues

Beautiful summer it was
Scorching heats of June
Your presence world felt
In cradles of joy you born.

Even though not on the day
We did rejoiced one birthday
Before celebrations began
In each other arms of bliss.

I never saw it as last
But it indeed was ending
When that creative gift
Made you cry in smiles.

A scrapbook of memories
I made from scratch
To make you cherish it
Till you breath your last.

Heartfelt rhymes I made
Scribbling colors of love
Out of ordinary made diary
Of years we lived together.

You smiled and smiled
To kiss me in each line
Your joy was what I wanted
In memories to relish lifetime.

You were only one I bombarded
With hand letters every time
And this one more expression
Of the world you meant to me.

We knew it was to end
But so soon it seemed to me
I wish the gift is still with you
For it was my last creative piece.

For the one who grew wings
Left me with no glow inside
To romanticize my world
And I kept wandering thereafter.

Eyes wet in  those beauty of rains
July brought in glory of the blues
Smiles to meet someone I loved
Union which wouldn’t last for long.

I never relish monsoon much
Dizzy is what rains did to me
I never understood the change
When I enjoyed it all as a child

Now realization dawn upon
As I saw what it was to giving
A canker to feel till eternity
I would wish to be foregone .

As the month was nearing ends
In  one of our pleasant meetings
Feeling  darkness of winds blowing
You end ‘special’ bonds between.

I embraced you one last time
Even if friendship we promised
Lonely windy night I remember
When I cried till my heart froze.

My heart never agreed to this
Pain it received for a long time
You gave no choice to this soul
I determined this was the last.

Forgiveness you sought after
Pains of separation we both felt
But  decision was to be taken once
For love was not enough this time.

Soul mates were destined to be apart
I spill it out from inside one last time
To espouse myself for all happiness
That now I seek selfishly after years.

Good bye I say to the bitterness
And to the hurt deep within me
I seek to fly in the dreams of love
My destiny fairies wrote faraway.

I smile once again in the spirits
To reach my goals I see within
I drive one passionate long ride
As I free myself of your memories.

Written as part of the The Month of the Year Challenge -Season 2

Also Prompted @Poets United, Be Kind Rewrite and The Gooseberry Garden

My Angelic Prince


As the year is nearing the middle, comes summers and where I come from they are scorching hot. So there was nothing special about the month of May all these years. Except for the fact that they marked the summer vacations in school and university days but the heat made us relish holidays more in the Air Conditioned rooms rather than roaming much. But then all this changed in this special month when we were fighting those sweaty heats. Across the seven seas, in one beautiful county was born an angelic face as the month was nearing its end. And by coming to this universe, he was changing the world for many a people, changing relations and being the first of the next generation. His name means the fortunate one and he indeed has been the bundle of happiness for everyone. He is the gift of God and  prince of our lives- my nephew, whom I yearn to hold still and yet he brings all the joys in the boring lives.

I still remember when the news of you coming in this world reached my ears, I went mad jumping across the house for I knew I will no longer be the youngest one and there would be giggles of someone young doing rounds in the silence of our house.  I knew there is soon going to be someone I can hold, play with, and have the smiles of my life with a certain right. He is going to be ‘my baby’ in the same way I was ‘the baby’ for my brother. I have always loved babies , they somehow fill my life with happiness and the whole time till he came into this world has been a beautiful journey. His news reached my ears when I was going through the worse period. He reinforced my belief that God still wanted his special plans for me. And he brought a sprinkle of rains with the news of an ‘angel’ entering my life.

I still remember the time when I first saw the glimpse of you on a video call. Those tiny closed eyes and the soft skin with tiny hands and feets gave the angelic feeling which is still  undefined. My parents maintained it on seeing him that he was my copy and maintain it still when he is almost six months old and it gives me a different kind of happiness as I have always grown up being the darling of my brother and still am.

Those tiny hands I yearn to touch and wish to smile with their happiness. You persona seems like crafted specially by God’s special inkpot. As we fought through stressing works, bad health and depressing lives, the giggling antics still put us at peace.  In the wildness of the cluttered lives of your parents, you came as a stable point. From being the rumple being the transformation to responsible lives is what makes their world goes around.

Festivity is yet to reach the ground when you touch base to meet the other half of the family and I yearn to see the smile on the old faces of my parents and the joy your parents gain out of it. We might spoil you, we might tease you but yet we all love you the best .

Eyes fill with happiness
As they lay on a tiny angel
That lays in the cradle
And smiles with a naughtiness.

Far off , yet near you are
As we saw you grow each day
From crying tiny faces
To big eyes that recognize.

You sat the first time
In front of us and smiled
Now the camera makes you curious
As you snatch it around.

We kiss you in spirit
And smile with all your actions
Your sleep smile is to die for
As you dream of angels.

We see you grow and await
When we can carry you
And love the real you
Holding those tiny hands of bliss.

P.S. I would like to thank  Thursday Poets Rally  for the The Perfect Poet Award for Poets Rally Week 58. I would like to nominate Lady Nimue for next week.

Written as part of The Month of the Year Challenge-Season 2.

Also Prompted @ 3WW, Theme Thursday, The Gooseberry Garden, Sunday Scribblings,OSI, The Poetry Pantry.