Turbulent Summers

tumblr_lqvls95h5M1qg1hgio1_500_large

Firstly, apologies to the readers and Nimue for not completing the Month of the Year challenge in December 2012 as I fell severely ill. But, starting 2013 with a baggage doesn’t seem a good idea so I was granted 15 days extension thanks to Nimue. Thanks darling. I promise, to write it all this time.

Let me just jumble May and June together in the monthly challenge. To be honest, May and June were just too identical in 2012. I mean they meant just one thing, pure hard work from dawn to dusk. And the hard work of the kind, I doubt I ever did. After all, the project was life breaking (which I submitted in July end). So, I doubt I got time to even breath. It was just books, loads of reading, than the loads of writings and re- writings and task to finish on time. I doubt I had any outings. I even missed some nice gatherings. On top of it all- the scorching heat.

Yet, there was the Nephew’s birthday. But sadly got no time to bake. The cake was bought and cut over on a Skype call. So sweet memories ūüôā

So, in essence, May and June were the stormy summers for me, filled with hard work, super stress, falling ill , and many nervous breakdowns. It had some bonding friendships too , but they were there till project lasted. Some colleagues are just so selfish. All that I needed in this period was the jest to survive it all.

A world of impossibilities it seems
In the sweaty hand that scribbled
This time to survive, the hardships
Possibilities were to be made, in summers.

I have been defiant, in the past
Rolling in my own sky, and losing
Now no options, stood ahead me
It was to be done, to move ahead.

Watching were the heavenly skies
Said my well wishers, all around
Every time I broke and lost spirit
To achieve it all, one last time.

I whispered “Again?” to myself
For the ordeal was not new
But I had past of failures I detest
I prayed for the strength till the last.

And with those strengthening words
I scribbled, I cried, I died within
I smiled, I succeeded, and broke more
But in the end, the first step was completed.

tumblr_m3hurcBApV1qesyjdo1_500

Written as part of Lady Nimue’s Month of the Year Writing Prompt-Season 3.

Also Prompted @ Inspiration Monday, OSI, Sunday Scribblings, Theme Thursday, DVerse Poets Pub and Trifecta.

Advertisements

March (Sigh)

100812_LauraEnever_05_large

MARCH……The horrifying month, the one I dread forever was once again standing on my face. It was not as heartbreaking as it was last year, but then it was not really good in itself. So, if I think of it this year, not much memories stand. ¬†Yes, there were few eventful ¬†things to make me smile and some to make me pissed. First time in my few years of baking did a cake I baked exploded (literally). Imagine my pissed off mood. ¬†Now when I think of it, perhaps it showed me maybe the person for whose birthday I was taking the pain, could never value me so it did. That is why, inspite of the first step I took, my relationship with that person¬†deteriorates¬† every day and ironically that person will be tied unknowingly to my life always (sigh). Insecurity and competitive streaks often ruins things in life and sadly it did to us. Ironically, the same cake when made for my bro’s birthday next month was a super success. Maybe , some incidents show us some things. Cake for mom’s birthday was a super success too and some happy smiles .

Now to some good moments. The month started somehow positively, with the fit and disciplined self I made myself in the last month, but alas positivism isn’t always strong to survive till the end. If smile is all about writing to me, then this gift reached me in many ways. Small fictions, or small rhymes became an everyday¬†exercise¬†in this month thanks to a community and rejoiced in writing by prompt inspirations. Small moments they were, but smiles and growth was extreme. Hopefully I could go back to that¬†exercise¬†again soon.

Rest, certain deadline was nearing, so was the stress. So, this month was lots about reading, books, writing and keeping up to achieve that one last step to become something. So, basically, this month went sanely, compared to the disturbing, panicked months ahead. But, the faith of people around made me survive somehow.

Disturbing times, abnormal haste,
Hope dangled around in dark pitches
Lavish was the knowledge seen
Expression lacked, I wondered how.

Insecure people, symbols of fate
Tears rolled, at hurt they passed
Life at standstill, yet moving
Faith in the light, I kept still.

Words moved in circles around
I catch their thread once again
As if to heal me, they stayed.
I was on a path of self discovery.

Hard-work and failure, together I see.
Trying not to cry, I push aside myself
For I had to succeed once, for them
To prove, I am worth what no one perceive.

Letting go, all the hurt, focus returns
To the scribbling within the brain
Work to survive , with the best results,
I resolve to do it, with all my falls.

Life hurts, I fall umpteenth
Yet, the last test I give
Where the naivety tries the best
Before the wordiness pollutes.

tumblr_leykot1wc61qc3d2ho1_500_large_138013027_large

Written as Part of the Lady Nimue’s Month of ¬†the Year Challenge-Season 3

Also Prompted @3WW, OSI, Sunday Scribblings, Theme Thursday, Inspiration Monday, DVerse Poets Pub, Trifecta