PACH ज़िन्दगी में मुहब्बत लाया है

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आज एक अजब सा सुरूर है इस दिल पे
आज के पल तो लगे हमे कुछ जन्नत की सैर जैसे
आयी हो जैसे मैं कुछ हसीन ख़्वाबों की गलियों से
दिल यूह मचल रहा है पहला प्यार हो जैसे.

यहाँ हँसी है बेशुमार मिलती, जैसे कोई दूकान है खोली
आंसों भी छलक से है जाते जैसे किसी की याद हो थमी
मोहब्बत तो इतनी है बसाये यह, की शयद इश्क बनाना वाला भी घबराये
कहते है अपने को PACH यह लोग, और सच कहे तो दिल के चोर है यह लोग.

याद है मुझे वो पहला  दिन, जब खूब शायरीयाँ लिखवाई थी इन्होने ख़ास
यह लोग बस कुछ नामों के पीछे छुपे थे तब, फिर भी थे जाने कैसे खास
ऐसी मोहब्बत से बुलाते थे, की प्यार की उस मिटटी को ढ़ोंन्ते है हम आज भी ख़ास
फिर वो दिन आ ही गया आखिर, जब इस लड़की को खीच लिया इन्होने तन्हायों के पार.

हँसी मैंन बहुत, उस बारिश में भीगे होए माहौल में
और अश्कों को भी जाने कैसे हस्मुक बनाये गया वोह
कहानियां भी थी वहा, बहुत सी शायरी भी , और कुछ  बातें अन्जानी
बैत बाज़ी कहते है जिसे, करती है वो लड़की जो है too much.

बस एक याद लेके आई थी उस दिन, अजनबियों में भी बात थी कुछ
फिर एक बुलावा आया आज, और क्या कहे बस पोछें ही ना आप तो मेहेरबानी
गयी थी बस बहुत सुन्ने , और कुछ थोडे बिखरे पन्ने सुल्जाने
और खबर न मिली, कब दिल दे बैठी आज सच में PACH और PACHवासियों को.

एक है panda वहा, जो जोढती है सबको, लफ़्ज उसके है जैसे शक्कर की चाशनी
उसकी एक twin भी है वहा, क्या कहे उनके बारे में, दिल चीर के ले लेती है
और है एक छोटा सा packet जिसने सामान  ढोंडते होए बस रुला ही दिया
वो cute shruti और प्यारी sonalika भी थी , बस समझिये दोस्त बनाके आये हम आज

और PACH तो है खाली अगर गोन्जे न कुछ हस्सी की खिल्कारियां
वो लाते है सबसे ज्यादा , जो लिख लेते है waxing तक पे कहानियां
और फिर boss के बारे में तो कहना है क्या , वो तो जब बोलते है तो बेजुबान सब
हँसा देते है कुछ, और मोहब्बत पे यकीन दिलाते कुछ, जैसे वो मेरी हंसों का जोड़ा.

हम तो और भी बहूत कुछ सुनाने की छह में आज बैठे है
बस अभी के लिए इतना, आप भी तो कुछ काम को समेटे है
अब तो वक़्त नहीं थामेगा, ना ही वो बीतेगा बेताबी बिन
अब तो बस इन्तेज़ार है, जाने क्या लायेगा अगला PACH अपने साथ अगली बार.

P.S. GOD what are you PACH. You finally made me write for you and in hindi. You are just pure love. Giving me sunshine and friends and smiles and just love. I Love you tooo tooo much

Copyright of the image I used of PACH lies with one and only PACH

P.S. S. My hindi spelling might be having many errors so forgiveness 🙂

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Best Friends

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Today I just had to spill it out. If not the ink, then the blood of emotions.  Everything on this page today, will smell of only you.  I don’t even want to sound lyrical, for it doesn’t matter what anyone read of it.  After three sleepless nights, three days of innumerable missed calls, three days of silence and three days of hurts, my heart finally gives up. I know I have often done it this year. Even spoiled my birthday somehow, for it hurts. People and their opinions rarely matter to me. But your opinions do. Always did. Even after two years of being extremely close friends ( many more years of being friends) , it really does.

I still remember that long mail when the disturbed me was pacified by you. You wanted to talk. But sharing numbers wasn’t my thing ever. And then time just went. I know you have managed my typo from the touch screen phone the most.  And I think you revived in me the ability of writing mails and mails. Long ones infact. And how I used to go and on whole day with my issues. And all that I needed was a call from you. And sigh. I think I have told you enough, but let me rephrase, the first time I talked to you, I fell in love with that voice. That accented, deep voice, O man. I can never get over that feeling. I am glad that very day you said, I choose who comes in my life and never let them go.  And then the friends forever promise. I often keep it but it was the first time someone wants to keep it with me.

Offcourse, we have had our share of fights.  One of my male bestie just told me that I can’t imagine you fighting with anyone. I actually don’t, I just go silent. And it hurt us both. Also you have reprimanded me too much for my pessimism and negativity. But I think it is all good. Who could handle my suicidal texts with humour? You only I think. And I actually have often ended up laughing. Also, who could keep texting me on important days to make sure all goes well. I think only you know how to make me laugh on my worse phases and moods. But that doesn’t mean I don’t know you get tired of taking care. You also want to be take cared. I have often tired. But then you are just way too nice to disturb me. But maybe sometimes you can try no?

All that was years back. Our friendship have changed too. We are busy and we hardly get time. Now you are more relaxed with me as my worst phase is over. But then I do have my blues. Also, I complain for I just miss ‘us’ being the more free kinds.  A person who has pushed each and every friend in these few years, kept you close. I survived for you were around. Otherwise, breakdowns I had was too much to be even told. I trusted the belief you have in me.  I test you and myself off late. I know I over react too. But then I just want to steal a piece of you which everyone gets. And often you forget I might be understanding but then I am human too. Am I not? I love and I care and also need the friend. I know I am not your best friend but then I also know how you hate when I say I have no best friend. I love it when you do realize you are my closest.

I think apart from you, hardly any know my personal issues. You think I could ever let you go? I push you off. On my birthday week I even decided I am never ever talking to you. You are my addiction. But I just was too disturbed with the accusations. And your thoughts about my issues. I don’t care what is the reality and not. I don’t even care if I ever see you . But yet I care about you and that be all. And yet, I was forced to give up. All because of the love. I weakened. I chose to never talk of those things anymore. I learnt my lesson. Every time we have fought, I learnt something and never talked on that line. A little of me died but I learnt. Now you see the effect?

Seeking to hear your voice once a month isn’t too much? Is it? Who knows where I be next year. Who knows where life takes us all. Utilizing it till the time is at hand isn’t too much. Or is it? A girl who never listen to anyone, does to you. Apart from 1-2 mistakes, you are always first one to know. When I submitted last july. I wanted to just call you. I might just do it post viva. And yet? I never intend to insult you. Never did. I have been as messed up last three days as you could ever imagine. It wasn’t about me. But me doing such things. I just want you to know that you are way too precious, just like how you considered me special.

You are one of those unnamed relationships which are like forever. I love you abound. You are my bestest friend. I want to share everything. Even when I mess my love stories. I want you to hold my hand and take me to the wedding hall someday. I want you to be the god father to my baby girl some day. And yet nothing will change. I will still throw kisses on you. Flirt in our cute harmless ways. And yet love our respective partners the most. You are the hottest and sexiest man I know. You got the moves. And I am glad I know you.  You are just everything in one. A  best friend when in tears, A lover when I am messed,  A mentor when indecisive, An ideal who makes it all easy. I know how much you try to settle things for me. No one will ever do. I just don’t allow. I might one day and that day you might be you even with me. I know it will come. I just respect you way too much.

Till that time, I just want to say ‘Don’t give up on me’. I am way too impossible. I might want you to know, times ahead are harder for me. Let me cry, and then even wipe those tears. Let us rekindle our friendship every other day. Come what may, just stay aside, even if geographical distances and time zones come between us some day. I want to get old and be the same with you. Even when our kids will go off and I am that crippled oldie, I want to call you and just smile. For in old age, all that matter is good friends.  I also want to make you proud of me one day. Have a place in the universe, where you go and say, hey that is my friend.

Space I need at times. But then don’t doubt my emotions? My actions are never deliberate. They are possessiveness at times. Jealousy at others. But then even you have them. Don’t lie that you don’t. I become helpless at times, I trample and fall. For this world is a mess and my fate even more at times. But when you be vigilant and make sure I get up, it is easier. It really is. People have warned me of attachments. Of trusting. And even keeping  close. But then, others also say you care. And that is all that matter right? You know way too much for me to now go back. I might know nothing. But trust me maybe. Someday?

I think that is all I guess. So how do we conclude? I love you beyond words, sweetheart. And my treats and coffee are pending and I will not leave without having then. Even if  it takes me decades to take it. Also, it is not easy to get rid of me. If you are stubborn about keeping some people close. Even I am. Even more if other person is the kindest and warmest human being. Someone who leaves me in awe at his sensitivity.

So forgive me, maybe? Not just this time but always?

You and me walking the opposite roads
Seeking a place in the universe
Filling hate with just purity
Of love, only we know, and cherish.

Undefined I keep ‘us’, and closed
In the palm of my hands and heart
I desire nothing, and give it all
All I want is your gift of friendship.

My creativity falls short when it’s you
You are not the muse, yet beyond
You are not just special, but beyond
Let us keep it simple, and call it heart beats.

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P.S. : I am glad you called as I was about to publish this post. I know you don’t want it published but still read no? And tell me if you hate it. Thank you for the smiles. Also, yes we can be back to being normal.  I never realized I went overboard. I am really sorry. Never again. But I will be messed more at times, just understand no? Also, I will never be bored of you. Even you don’t be no, please? :*

Also prompted @ 3WW, OSI, Inspiration Monday, Poets United, The Sunday WhirlCarry on Tuesday, Trifecta, Theme Thursday, and Sunday Scribblings

Happy New Year, 2013

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Hello, 2013.

This year includes all initial numbers of the number system, 0-1-2-3. So, I hope its a new beginning and a happy one to all.

I have not been keeping well, so just not been blogging much. But, hopefully, if prayers work, I will be well and back to boring you all more. But, this hello in the new year for my readers who were a reason of the smile in the year gone by and hope are the happiness quotient this year too.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2013

New breeze, new smiles
Happy mood enlighten
In the year of hope
I seek only warmth
Of love and happiness
To make it the bestest
That life ever sees.

Keep smiling, Keep happy. Spread Love.
Loaaads of Love ❤

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An Era Defining Me

Smiles is what I desire in this world reeking of darkness lost in corners of dust. Like a scarecrow hanging from lose gaps, it scares all positive vibe around. I aren’t sad, nor really happy, for life is one big decision, lost in vacuum of nothingness.  A retreat is what I look for, in this vibrant place of too much noise, just some space to analyse, of where I dreamed of going, of the zenith I can reach.

I run, I fight and then I briskly move away to a haven of nature. Detached from the world, for the small bits and pieces that interrupt the correct sight of the universe.  Inoculation I deserve, from the unhappiness I imbibe within, not seeing the bright rays that rise to speak of the life ahead, of the world I am yet to explore.

A guardian angel I forever encountered, in all phases of life, is lost somewhere. The first season I live where I see no halo of  the mystic, of the fragrant smell of guidance and happiness. Perhaps I haven’t been treading the path of thorn rightly to make them crushed or maybe the eyes are still lost in hollows of what I couldn’t achieve.

A promise I need. To myself. To destiny. To stop the speed of dark. The negative pessimism. And move to an era of defining- Me.

A wax statue stand upfront
With smiles that never went
Of bets of the tears
Which they never saw.

Then I remember that person
That it represented
A persona I once carried
A decade back in innocence.

I feel like searching that one
Who sought to make me cry
And ever since tears found
Ways in my destiny.

The golden spoon was snatched
Struggles found way always
And never to end still
So I can make a new start.

I am hoping for that ray
I can see in this bundle
Lost in notes of life
Which show happy paths.

I smile, rejoice, not escape
From the crushing of me
Laugh like it rains forever
Of only what I want.

Also Prompted @Inspiration Monday, 3WW, OSI, Sunday Scribblings, Poets United, Theme Thursday and Easy Street Prompts

Winter Smiles

The first flecks of snow, or the first winds of freeze, the darkness abound and the hidden sun. That is what winters is to most. Some call it dark, some call it negative, some call it blue and some call it unfair. I had no real liking/ dislike for winters for they were mostly extreme here or it was just like spring. As they are  saying their goodbye to welcome the next season, I think I should thank them for one thing they gave me this time, smiles.

Well , for the past few years, there was no wit or humour, no happiness or laughs, be it winters or summers. Life tested me without hope for as far I remember since a while. I labored hard to move on , to be cancelled from the light of life. The elasticity of the moment made me lose what I had and I was responsible. I saw hate before love, bad before good, and rejection before hope.

Then the double load of life started making me fall, in dark recesses of tears. Cries which hounded deep within the self I know not of. Tests were slowly ending to show me hope in different symbols. Mysticisms of life crept through, I sometimes ignored. Then I chose to made a call, to tell myself, things cannot go worse and I decided to live again.

A new start, a new beginning, and amongst the troubles I felt, I decided to  chose. Choosing to building without windows, which were shattered ages back . I chose to attach the strings of life back to me. I chose to hope, to smile, to explore and try. Try to find the happiness within, the joy in darkness and hope in closed walls. I chose to defy and rebel against the sadness of life. Only to find-I survived.

A new tractor of life carried me to unknown zones of talent, I knew not of before. I loved winters, I loved smiles, passions were overriding within. Talents were blooming with enthusiasm and I knew I was coming to conquer. Today, the winter, the dark, the snow is going away, I dont relish summers but I decide to open arms to it as well and thank the breeze of winter that is still touching my skin. The elementary existence of life found a meaning in life , by showing both happiness and sadness, and yet making the pessimism go with the welcome of optimism. I thank it for the smiles, I forgot I had.

I walked alone in silence
Tears fell in dust
Seen by no one to feel
I tired the spirit within.

A cold breeze touch within
As to speak of some love
Telling me stories of hope
To explore the smiles around.

It took me to expedition of life
Feeling talents I lost long
I read, I wrote, I conquered
Clicking to glory the world.

I smiled, I laughed and I loved
Making companions I knew not
Feeling love to anyone tired
Lifting spirits of one down.

I conquer love, I conquer life
I dream of what lies ahead
So much to see, so less time
I run ahead to have it all.

My eyes taste, hand feel mist
Warmth and emotions I lost fast
I become good, I feel good
As I thank winters for the smile.

Also Prompted @3WW, OSI, Sunday Scribblings, Inspiration Monday, Thursday Poets’ Rally, Theme Thursday, Poets United, Weekend Wordsmith.

Thank You Noble for this wonderful idea to write,  as it made me think so much , and made me end up with a post which makes me feel glad that I wrote 🙂