Regrets and Law of Attraction

large1

Image Source

Do you guys have regrets? Or is life way too beautiful for us to get ourselves stuck with them? Do you feel we have what is known as temporary moments of regrets? If it was not so, how come we don’t regret those marks or the misses we once did? Or do we attract all the wrong decisions to us too which make us nearer and nearer to our real goal in this life?

Today, while on my evening walk these were the thoughts that were occupying my brain. I have been reading the book ‘The Secret’ off late and I was wondering how we attract even bad decisions and how we repel people we don’t want to stay longer? I think it might be due to law of attraction. If not, how do I not remember all that I regretted or hated once? How come my messes have no play in today’s life? I messed my boards and wanted to disappear and yet I don’t regret or even remember it now? I regretted leaving literature once but it was not in my hands. If I had pursued, life would have been different. But would it have been what it is today?  If I had pursued science I might never have fallen deeply for literature as I did  or even discovered I had the talent to write. I never did bad when it comes to studies after school maybe because I did what I had capability for and what if I had not? If I had pursued literature more, all novels would have turned work not love and passion. I might have stayed in the same university and not seen hostel life and might not have fallen in love right? And what is life without love man. I might not grown up as much I did. From innocence to strength I saw it all. Infact love gives us such courage that we know not of. I once let go off many things for love and I feel it was all for good. Infact I feel its good I never moved out for its only lucky children who get to be there taking care of aging parents. That is one regret I wouldn’t have want for that would have stayed forever. Of not spending enough time with parents. My life is still not sorted but now I feel I am content at what I do atleast and its beautiful and I feel I attract or repel decisions too.

For a long time in life I felt I was God’s chosen angel. And then I stopped believing and he stopped answering. Yet when I think now. All along he was hearing it too. He got me rid of wrong people when I couldn’t take them anymore. All I needed was to say and like magic they said goodbye themselves. It was funny but it still happens. Coincidently, I have even attracted guys I dated or crushed. They used to be this popular guy every one wanted and like magic they liked me. But then the ones I knew it was a hopeless struggle got repelled and left too. I believe in being chosen more now so it happens easily and I know it. I even get over people after initial day or so after realisation dawns of what a mess it would have been if they had stayed. So I think now whatever I have in abundance today is because I always believe I can never be short of this and it is so.

We all have struggles. I still have more in future. But every wrong decision made me move closer to the person I am and that is beautiful. As a result I don’t regret. I just close my eyes and thank certain things for existing and others to go. But when I fear losing I do lose. For I am not sure of myself.

So something like law of attraction exists. If it has to work, don’t regret. Why regret what made you happy? Why regret love or losing when it makes you a winner someday? All we need is some courage to make all we want a reality. And rest, life is indeed beautiful.

Till next time,

Live, Love and Laugh.

P.S. I never asked how you guys doing? I miss writing so this was one of those random writings. Hopefully I can write more this year. And yes, Happy New Year you guys 🙂

large

Image Source

Advertisements

Loved and Lost

tumblr_mezzghnMDo1rl63soo1_400_large

Tears don’t stop when we are overwhelmed
Expectations kills what was the beauty
Love we shared, misconstrued in between
And I just stood still, breaking into bits.

There was a beauty in the sunshine behind clouds,
I learned just to love when that is all I got
Yet, I knew relationships were much more than that
And a break in emotion was demanded, as I over did.

I wanted to fall in that wet grass and just scream
Feel the droplets of water, and disguise it as rain
I wanted to run away and just get mingled in the crowd
Today, I just despised love, for it was growing way deep.

Poetry was in the air, in the embrace of one’s I cared
I spoke lot more then anyone could ever feel in life
I conversed with mist in my eyes, and sweaty palms
I learned a lesson, in the new year, and parted ways.

Aloofness, defined me, when life was teaching me through stories
Misjudged the experience, and forgotten were all valuables
The wings were flying, ignoring the scars that bothered
Now I sit down, to clip them, once more in a lifetime.

I still say a silent prayers to invent a balm for sorrows
To just wipe all the hurt that the bruised heart feel again
To seek no talks, and just keep the sealed lips still
And wish, maybe I be that angel God conspired someday, for you.

Dependency is what love creates, for I want you to be mine
‘Only mine’ is the selfish variant I see, as I lay my eyes on you
Then I burn the fire of love within, for you have many around
And in that struggle to own, I lose what was even mine.

Slowly slowly I become a shadow of what was the one you knew
I vaporise, I diminish and then one day I am just a memory
I just wish, one day on my elegy you write what I desired
“Here lies the one who knew nothing but just love”.

Love Gone Bad

Fear_by_go_back_to_sleep

He was the wrong one
I told her quite often
But he had his spell
She saw only the love rue.

He hated me for my mind
For he was the ruffian
She was someone I cherished
And then their chords matched.

Everyone gave in to their smiles
I just prayed with all my might
Wedding day also I saw that scare
Chose a distance, for God’s sight.

Years passed, life gave them tiny tots
I met sometimes to see just her smiles
Then one fine day I knew what she hid
The scars that was all his doing.

She thought baby girls will undo them
Lived along just for they needed
A burn here, a tie there she felt
Pushed and bruised was she all around.

The wandering eye he had always
Accused her of switching loyalties
Smelled him of all the bewitching beauties
And cursed her of luring his relatives.

In the fight of his own self
He saw enemy in familiar faces
Gave tears even to his kin
And pushed her way too far.

One fine day she could not take
And chose the door that took her away
For all she did did, was still keep silent
Provoked him, still wanted was to kill love.

Everyday she struggle still to stay or leave
But then her youngest one refuses to go back
Saying, ‘dad beats my mom everyday’
And she sighs to try to look for a way out still.

Image Source

Written as part of the OctPoWriMo Writing Prompt Day 30: Writing about the Hard Stuff

35a81-journal

Also, Prompted @Theme Thursday and @ABC Wednesday (P is for Pushed).

P.S. : When I read the prompt for this week I knew I had to write about abuse. I realized I had written about rape and child abuse. And then I remembered my cousin who recently told me how she wasn’t just married to a bad mouthing husband but someone who beats. He hates me even more now for he thinks I don’t talk to him for I am selfish and support her and I laugh at the lies he still goes on telling the world. I knew he is wrong for I have known him since my childhood and there is not one right thing he did and the one he did, he spoiled too.  I can like forgive everyone but an abuser ? Never. I told her I can still forgive someone who curses, but a man who once beats will do it forever. And she is a very educated girl and he is someone who fakes education and hence has this inferiority complex. It is also one reason I think even if a guy is doing well in life, should be educated enough to match the thinking of his girl. Marriages like this make me lose faith in love and marriage. Also, giving chances to a man who slapped even once in anger is calling for disaster. I hope men realize beating doesn’t prove your manhood but proves how unmanly you are.

Also, domestic violence isn’t just abuse as shown above  but is also forced marital rapes. And I think we all should raise voices against that too. Being married doesn’t mean you don’t respect the wishes of your spouse. Also horrendous marital rapes are learnt to exist because lot of wrong men think that just because they are their husband, she is to agree to everything. Ladies, if wrong is happening, learn to say NO.

Stop_the_Violence_by_shooot_me

Image Source

Lonely Winters

1258772385357893

When one has accomplished one goal and there is no route to other goals, a kind of emptiness sweeps within. You know you are a bundle of dreams, expectations and desires and yet you are seen as one useless person for you are just waiting. And that sucks like nothing. October and November did that to me. I could still not get out of my city for a vacation and hence the stress quotient wasn’t relieved much and on top of it, illness crept in badly with almost everyone falling ill. So, the month was about medicines, sleeps, arguments, bad moods and what not.

Also, some realizations happened. Some relationships are of sort where  love is too much when apart, and too many disagreements when together.  Nevertheless, too much love kills for there are too many expectations.  But then, we manage for we have to. Again these months were isolated ones, when the social and friend circle were not present any near. So, a really dark winter in a way.

However, October did give one nice occasion to celebrate. A festival we made into a mini celebration for the family. Apart from loads of cooking, self pampering and shopping, we made it a fun day for our cute baby. Since, the baby’s first birthday was a video call one , we decided to bake a cake and celebrate one in our own ways. I managed to bake a cake apart from all other things and one tiny smash cup cake for him. And all of it did get done on time. Nice clothes, loads of photography, much more foods and load and load of smiles the day brought. Baby looked the cutest with his dangling long hair ( which got cut the next day and in a day he transformed from a baby to a big boy). The traditional attire look was best on our angel too but best was him carrying his cup cake in whole house and soiling around even if he hardly ate.  But, the cake was a hit and for the first time my sibling actually said you did bake one awesome cake. Totally worth it all.

23714335507763082_M5sCNjoP_c

Naked truths stood upfront,
Vacant lies the within
Tears roll across again
To fight inner recesses.

I fall, I detest it
Hidden are all goals
Focused ideas are empty
I am everything but me.

Jar of wishes is ajar
I desire to pick a jelly
Blooming with all love
Yet, that step seems far.

Idle looks my present
To all who sees carelessness
Turmoil I carry across
No one but the mind knows.

Load of expectations kills
Aware I, of all responsibility
The child within wants to play
One last time, like the end.

I reside all alone
In the middle of nowhere
To find a purpose or light
Where lies the path of sight.

An angel exists as a cure
Pairing smiles,  to sad tears
Giving sparks of happiness
And  I smile a bit.

Separation from you was hardest
When sickness found its way
I can never forget your excitement
When I smiled to your jigs.

For that moment I promise to cheer
Once and for all things dear
And say hello to rays
For my little sunshine there.

1248357345962608

Written as part of Lady Nimue’s Month of the Year Writing Prompt-Season 3.

Also Prompted @ 3WW, OSI, The Sunday Whirl, Inspiration Monday, Trifecta and Two Shoes Tuesday.

Rare Love

 “You look like a strict clown here, couldn’t you have smiled in your wedding pictures?”
On the stage, when I was shitting in my pants?”

” It was just your wedding, for Christ’s sake”
“Yes yes, i was being sacrificed for life”

“Very funny”
“Not at all. We got married seriously. Shit”

Now you have no option. You have to wake up everyday seeing my silly face”
“That sounds cute actually”

“Cute as hell right?”
“Not less horrific now, compared to the kind it will be when you get the wrickled face one day. I am scared thinking of it only”(makes horrific face)

” I will look the same always, get it? ” (popping eyeballs)
“You can promise? or you getting botox? I don’t have that much money, girl”

“Grrrrrr…Nope. I wouldn’t change internally, you see?”
“Good, now get me a coffee”

“I can see you have already changed”
“I am a guy”

“So?”
“We have an inborn right to change”

(smirks)
“Don’t give me that look or I will catch you”

“Why? Your heart missed a beat?”*(winks)
“Very filmy”

“Very serious”
“Me? never.I am just a stale catching guy” (smirks)

“You already caught me, when stupid cupid caught you, remember?”
Not that catching, stupid, the other one”  (wicked smile)

“Stay off me, or you are so dead”
“Noppppe, now I have a legal right too”

“Excuse me?”
“Your mom excuses wouldn’t work, I can kiss you in front of her too”

(Eyes wide open)
“Don’t pretend you don’t notice such looks and heard my words. I can do, after all,  I am her pampered son-in-law, darling”

“Stay away” ( runs away)
“How far can you run in one room?”

“Mummmmmmy”( cute fake crying)
(Catching her stole from behind to hug her and whisper)

“What?”
“Yes, my inborn children’s mom”

(sighs)
Mwaaaah

“I can’t help but  love you, my stupid husband”
“I love you, my silly wife”

Two individuals, two lives,
Bubbling with new found love,
In the vitality of existence,
To seek meaning together.

Desires are new,
But dreams old,
They plan to fulfil,
Together like a fairytale.

X- box, or a Louis Vuitton,
Leather, or feathers,
Sports or movies,
Variety and yet spice.

Resting in each other arms,
They kiss some, they fight some
They love some, they cry some
Yet they stay as mine for all.

It was fresh love, all said
Staleness will make it hard
You will cry and dispiced
When look fury sights.

They grew up old together
Tarnishing all claims,
Cradling one chair,
Still kissing to fame.

Embracing the feel,
Even in crackled bones,
They define true love,
Found just in true souls.

I wish everyone reading this post,

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY

Today, make a promise to yourself,

To love yourself the most and be your valentine first before loving anyone else.

And also promise to follow this rule 365 days of the year and see how life changes for best.

Love yourself, pamper yourself, smile crazily, stay happy and be forever blessed. 

 Also Prompted @Inspiration Monday, OSI, Sunday Scribblings, Poets Pantry, Weekend WordsmithTheme Thursday.

Note* :  That dialogue which was initially to be used was-  “Why? Kuch Kuch hoya” , but since the blog is read by not just South Asian audience , I changed it. For South Asian people, I know it appealed and resonated more with the filmy dialogue later and surely make more sense now for you people. For everyone, kuch kuch hoya means same as heart skipping a beat but it is used in reference to a Indian movie- Kuch Kuch Hota Hai which also mean something something happens in heart (stupidly translated). Click this to know more of the reference.

P.S :This is one of the rare posts whose conversations I wrote in mind while still waking up and realized later it could have been the conversation a close friend of mine would have had with her husband post marriage as we all asked her post marriage, he could have atleast smiled. So, dedicated to you too Munza 😉

P.S.S. It would have been two years today for my blog had I stuck to the older one. But since I imported all posts, Happy Birthday, my baby blog ( It’s almost four years since I first started blogging though but I took a long break in between so that doesn’t count ;-)) 🙂