Thank You, 2017

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So, its end of the year once again and a new year is just round the corner. And like always, how can I end the year without thanking it irrespective of how it was.

This year was chaotic, nothing remarkable, yet nothing bad as such. So, let me thank you and be thankful for little sweet moments it gave me.

January brought some chaos
Refurnished home I received
Some friends did pamper
As I drank to happiness

February was quite responsible
As foreign delegates came
In month of love
Beautiful moments I gained

March is always about cakes
And some women power came along
Gifting promises to the nearest
And meeting ones I awed

Birthday month was the best
As I learned presentation skills
And got love and surprises
To make it the best in years.

In between supervising works
My baby grew a little
Which makes May special
Inspite of all mundane

June is all about devotion
As I spent a month of sacrifice
And learned the power of purchase
To get the power of responsibility.

In the unusual month that was july
I gifted myself the dream phone
And another family holiday
To give and get yearly smiles.

August has given the best people
Yet there wasn’t anything unusual
In works and commitment it went
Seeking something extra.

And then came another unusual month
First solo trip alone for work I took
Gave back with some beautiful memories
And smiles in vacationing away.

October is to poetry say they
And I revived it from within
Though commitment wasn’t fulfilled
But then writer in me found a voice.

November was the start of many beauties
As weddings came in a stressful month
In between food and dances I felt love
To celebrate the unions of special ones.

December was all about letting it go
Going higher and higher in spirits
I danced and smiled even in wrongs
Felt a beautiful year in coming.

So, 2017, thank you for the beauties you gave me. You were a year of firsts. You taught me to present in international conferences for the first time. You was the year I took a first solo trip even if for an office workshop. You were the year I learned how to organise events successfully for foreign delegates and for students. You was also the year of money power, of buying for family, and for oneself and feeling the power. You gave me the surprise birthday after long and some gifts that made me smile. You gave the best weddings and dancing craziness. You were a year of fun and liveliness as you end. Thank you for the upbeat spirit as you end. Gratefulness to you for existing.

2018, you I love already. You are giving me happiness. You give a feel of romance and achievement. You will be the year of independence and only smiles. You are something I am waiting to conquer.

So, goodbye 2017. Thank You.

Lets Celebrate.

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HAPPY NEW YEAR, 2018 ♥️

Goodbye 2013

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Hello people, as we say goodbye to 2013, I realised I needed a closure post. An introspectic one and a thankful one. To see what I learned and what I earned. I wanted to just say goodbye to all part and welcome 2014 with a smile. Seriously 2014 I seek lot of nice things from you. So this is what all this year gave as well as taught me:-

Givings of 2013:-

1. If you work double hard, you defend your thesis indeed very well.  And hence will learn the art to manage stage frights and presentations anxiety.

2. Got a Ph.D. degree awarded. Hence, got Dr. sufficed to my name. And it indeed is a wonderful feeling.

3. Gave academic interviews for the first time and each one taught me how to do better than the last one.

4. Became part of a poetry club and hence decided to do something about my love for literature. In the process, learned to give recitations confidently in front of 20-30 people. I love you PACH. Seriously I do. Thanks to you guys I write so much now. Also, wrote 31 poems in 31 days.

Learnings of 2013:-

5. Learned to get over obsessions for certain people.

6. Learned that there are certain people who truly love me.

7. Learned to meet new people, let myself free and in between make new friends.

8. Its okay to have infatuations and use it to unleash your creativity. Mulling over something lost only hurt us and never helps.

9. Sometimes its not important to be friends to have good conversations and good memories. And some acquaintances are there just for a memory and then you say goodbye.

10. Some best friends are for life. They might get married, lose touch and yet will forever value you and be there for you always.

11. Learn to let go people who forces you to love them but never love you back

12. At the end of the day, never ignore parents. They are the only way who are there for you all the time

13. At the end of the day, you are all alone. So learn how to manage loneliness with a smile too.

14. Love yourself. Give time to things you love doing. Also, always have time for a cup of coffee with friends.

15. Never judge anyone. Met new people. You never know when a new friend is round the corner.

16. Listen to good music. Watch great movies. Dance like you flying. Read and write. Just love yourself.

17. Nothing like a baby’s love. Just nothing.

18. Happiness of a birthday surprise post birthday even on a video call is beyond words. For family is special.

19. Be open to love always. You never know when it happens.

20. If your conscious say so, you are right. People are jealous. They might say things. You might do things but if you hurt no one, its okay. No one is born as a sinner or dies as  a saint.

21. Be ready to apologize if you are wrong. A ‘sorry’ is all that is needed at times to mend bridges.

22. Past is past, let it go. Give yourself chance to make new memories. They try to haunt you for they hurt you. You loved them for the person they were back then. You can never love a person like them now. Smile at it and just be happy, it made you the strong individual you are now. You have learned the art to say ‘No’. And always use that word when needed.

23. Sometimes people are just interested in the flesh and not the person. Its okay to have desires for them. So learn to stay aside if you like them for more than that.

24. Stand by your passions and ambitions. They will take you places one day.

25. Never let someone overstep you and use you as a mat. If they hurt you, just give them a piece of your mind.

26. Not everyone worth doing things for.

27. Have fun. Laugh hard. Love madly. Make good friends. Travel. Write. Photograph and life will be good.

28. Work hard and your fate will smile on you.

29.  Just be a little patient and be positive. You never know.

30. At the end of the day, life is good. Value it and take it with a smile for all the precious things it has given you.

I wish all you readers an awesome 2014. I know it is gonna be life changing for me and I wish it is just perfect for you all 🙂

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HAPPY NEW YEAR 2014 to you all.

Live. Love. Laugh 🙂

Letters of Forgiveness

Today, as the clocks ticks away to say goodbye to year that was called ‘2011’. I sit back to reflected on the years which were all so bitter for the past four years. Either it was the vaccum that some created by leaving, the quick wrong decision I took or started being too critical. Life was not really pleasant and this year the drama reached its climax where I broke down in tatters before I picked it up. Lost a few people I considered special, took tough decisions of my life, worked rather too hard, had the longest grilling to get pass some extensions , bitter battles among siblings and the happiness of seeing new borns. This year gave it all. And somehow I made a decision to flow away all that held me from breaking loose. I forgive people who hurt me, I say things to people I never could and I forgive myself.

I seek forgiveness from my followers if this post is rather too long but I had to give this gift to myself to make a new start to a beautiful 2012 🙂


Dear First Love,

I finally  take the task of forgiving you for whatever you did. You destroyed me for future love, awesome love and happiness. My life being a disaster post you left. And what was a worse disaster was the truth I discovered. The lies you said. The girl you married and yet everytime we talked you had a straight face as if you did no wrong. You showed as if you truly loved only me and just circumstances made us apart. The campus was right you can never find a girl who loves you as much I did. I stopped adjusting or compromising post you. I turned practical and yet cynical. I made the most stupid decisions post you as I didn’t know how to survive alone and I cried nights for I believed you were my soulmate. Today I forgive you for all you did for you got what you sow. You are stuck in job in short of your dream for the simple reason that you hurt a girl who prayed nights for your success. You might try to convince you are in for a divorce but I don’t believe you for I have so moved off from you. But yes you did give some beautiful memories , I treasure them forever and Today I flew leaves of your memories in the river of forgiveness to free myself from you. For I  believe my soulmate still awaits and have a forever union with me and you was just someone who made a little baby girl into a mature lady. Thanks for the learning you gave.

I forgive you and open myself to all happiness I prevented myself from till date.

Love,
Me

Dear Psycho Lover,

I made a mistake when I entered into a dark well knowingly. We came from two different kind of upbringing, thinking and aims. We were poles apart when it comes to what we seek in life. I knew what kind of family you came from and yet I stuck to some stupidities. Honestly, it was never about status, money or anything that made me took the decision. It was the lack of educational and intellectual sense which made me took the decision. You never really intellectually stimulated me. And inspite of all the efforts you took, you failed. You took me as trophy to flaunt when you had me but did nothing to make yourself capable even in two years. I know I hurt you but possessive love is something which I can never stand. I made the biggest mistake to tell my family about someone not capable enough and I lived in a jail in my house for those 6 months. I hate myself for breaking my brother promise for a guy like you. And I hated myself for never telling you that I never really loved you. Because when you committed to me, I felt stupid of what you did. I feel you did it all as you wanted to flaunt me. And coincident bad incidences in your life make me feel like a fool. Only people I regret hurting is your mom and your sister. I don’t want you to spoil your life for I hurt you. But the fact is it would have not worked. We both would never have been happy.

I forgive you for all hate you have for me and I forgive myself for all I did for it was destined this way. I hope you forgive me someday and at peace too or maybe I am thinking too much and you have already move on.

Stay blessed,

Love,
Me

Dear Ex best friend,

I loved you beyond words. I cared for you beyond words. You were the bestest thing that happened and yet this is what I got. Just because your guy got interested in me in a drunken state. He was a jerk who two timed you once and yet you believed he couldn’t do it. If I was interested I would have met him in your absences but I never did. I never maintained contacts and for years I kept my lips sealed. And what I got was my image tarnished in the whole damn world with your version. And you made a great friend of mine have bad image of you and fight over it. What was that immaturity? I never stalked you too. You did. You found about persons in my life. Hacked accounts. You did all wrong and yet called me names. And the weirdness of you still don’t end. My brother was right about you and regret not listening. You are not only jobless but aim to do nothing with life too and glad it ended for us or you are someone who can be noone’s true friend.

I forgive you for all hate you had and move on to awesome friends I now have

P.S. And start dating guys with spines.

Love,
Me

Dear Sis-in Law,
I always dreamt of having a sister as my sis-in-law right from my childhood. I am someone who gets along with people rather easily and thought will do with you too. But then alas it was never true. Somehow we never got along with our point of views. Your worldview and mine differed a lot and you never understand my bhai’s protect and love for me and mine idealism for him. Jealously crept in you and started back biting about me to him and I hate that narrow approach you have. You still don’t want me to visit your home or maybe I see wrong. So for this new year I decide to not be biased with you and try and love you as we like it or not we are linked for life. I somehow thought of you pressing my marriage as way to cut my links with this house. But fact is that will never happen and my brother will forever love me like a child you have to accept it. You gave me my priced nephew whom I love a lot and I might hate you for not letting us visit him yet but I am giving you benefit of doubt once. I want to forgive you as long you keep both my bro and nephew happy. I can take care of my parents so don’t worry of that. Let me forgive you and have an unbiased view of you and I hope you end up as a nice person this time.
Love,
Me

Dear Bhai,

I have grown up idealizing you so I hate it too when we have cold wars. I know you worry too much about my health, my career, my decisions, etc and fear my future. But I am not the immature 12 year old any longer. If I can handle dad with his panic ways and convince him of right and wrong than I must have gained some maturity. I wanted a good degree from abroad as much you did. I never went on wrong paths nor wasted years but you hurt me a lot by not taking my advices in the application process and wasting my years and thousands of money. If I had gone my way, my supervisor would have made me visit you for a year too. But then bygones are bygones. That guy was my mistake but I never wasted years in romances. I knew how to balance. You hurt me in application handling and not trusting me to take guidance and getting high score and I hurt you in some ways. You were responsible a lot of my self confidence going down too. But lets just forgive each other as at the end of day we know we love each other the most. And please please remove negativity off your life like I did. Dad and mom worries a lot about you because of that approach. Life is beautiful and not just about money. Get back your creative streak and fall in love with yourself. I want you happy like you want me. My dreams are different from yours so now trust me let me take my own path and believe me I will do you loads of proud.
I love you the most,

Love,
Me

Dear Men who hurt me,

I am so sick of the jerks I end up meeting. I am glad you were never there for long and I hate how I trusted you to be my great friend. Yes, my first best friend in campus you were jerk too to never tell the truth about what happened and spread rumours. And yes you, the friend of my first love- you were an ass to say so many things and that’s the reason I never forgave you. And that college asshole who made me hate not slapping you. You destroyed lot of things in me. And that friend who fall and out of love in a week. I forgave you for the simple reason that you are still respect our friendship. And the asses of friends who had no love but other intentions I am no commodity for you, if I was interested I would have stayed friends.  And yes you my friend’s ex, you were the cheapest guy I ever met. You destroyed a friendship and had no guts to stand for truth. Lot of you made me believe I can never have people for long I get close to. Just don’t play with my emotions, be blant and I love it. Few of you who never trusted me with your secrets even after years of friendships have hurted me a lot too. I was something who would have changed your life had you trusted the love I had for you. Alas not. And today I give up on my addiction for you and choose to seek other areas where I might get what I desire and not just give. Its up to you to keep me still and you know how.I hope I no more meet your variety of guy and if I do I aim to not be attached to anyone anymore unless its someone who is destined in my life. I don’t want to have crush or fall in love with guys who can never stay firm on their liking. I am better alone and off your variety.

I finally forgive you all but we can never be friends.

Love,
Me.

Dear Mom and Dad,

I am no one to forgive you or something but I seek forgiveness for all times I hurt you. Mom, you are the world to me and your memory losses and health worry me to the hilt. I never make your esteem less I just want you to feel nice about yourself and get well soon so I say things I do. You have been the most uplifting, positive person I know. You always told me “Think positive” and I never listened and now I aim to do so. I hope the new year lifts all fights we had as you were worried of me going astray. Trust me I am on right path and will make you proud one day. I know I hid my relationships from you for they had no future but trust me when I do tell it will be the best guy for me.

Dad, please please stop the negative anxious life you live. You panic effects us a lot. Please love yourself and nothing else we want. We never got along and nor do our views. Your fear make me not like your anger in childhood and I hated your anti relative attitude. You should try understanding mom more rather than fighting with her . Age is old and she needs your support as much you do. Please remove your ego now. Its high time you do. People don’t love you or worship you as much you want due to this. You were such a talented person and could have reached zenith of fame but then you sought not much due to your laziness and took wrong decisions as well. But atleast don’t have ego of a president. Its not helping you. You are top in your area and have the best of contacts in this country and abroad but you ruining it due to the attitude you carry. I forgive you for whatever I hated you for once and seek you to love life you have with all of us.
I love you both and hope to make you both proud one day. Just stay beside me and believe in me and my dreams.

Love,
Me

Dear Me,

You have made wrong decisions, life took things away due to bad luck, hard work failed and inspite of all the things you did you never succeeded. But it was never just your fault. You never trusted your ability and your talent and its high time you do. Stop getting attached to worthless people. Don’t run after love. Love your work and be content. Love your dreams and believe in them. Work the highest you can and yet enjoy life. Be selfish for a change and get an eye for the right people. In short forgive yourself for you couldn’t be and Aim to reach highest now on.

Be positive, Love yourself and Live life to each moment. And BELIEVE IN YOUR DREAMS. You are really the best

Love,
Me

With this , I end my forgiveness for the past years and this year. This is my last post of 2011 and I look forward to a brighter, happier, loving and positive 2012.

Happy New Year to all my Readers.

Stay Happy. Stay Loved. Stay Blessed.

Happy December

So finally the year ends. The only good thing about this year was December ( And offcourse my Nephew :D). Aftermath of lot of retrospect thoughts and certain days dedicated to myself was that I emerged stronger, happier and a better person. I started focusing on reading lot of my academic book and finally realized I can indeed write a good researched thesis. I was not really happy with my topic for a long time as the subject I was interested in was rejected due to ulterior motives of few people and it was something I was passionate for. But then I realized I can work well with the topic I have and link it to the other work in the long run. So in short I am starting to love my work and falling in love with it. And that’s sign of a excellent end product. Because when I love something I end up with the best 🙂

I have been a bundle of negativity and loads of sob stories in the whole year. And finally decided to thrash it all away. I started focusing on getting myself fit. Meditation and cardiac excercises helped me lose weight and made my day happier. I studied with a fresh mind. Read books I love, watch movies when low, loved watching my cookery shows and actually got to have healthy discussions  of work with my sibling (not just fights :P). In short, I fell in love with my myself all over again.

I realized I have some amazing friends I should be thankful for. Friends I can call at anytime of day and they listen, friends who make me smile always, friends who stand like pillars and friends who love me inspite of all my sadness. Friends who are beautiful part of my life and make me enjoy it all the time. I made some new friends, got closer some old friends, regained the spark with my bestest friend and got to know some real good people. I was thankful, I had deleted certain friends off my life who was blot on the word called ‘ friendship’. My parents were learning to see me as a responsible adult. My brother was gaining trust in my abilities. And my relationships with myself was happy and I didn’t needed a jerk for that. In short, life was becoming happier by making relationships and friendships in my life so very stable.

I started believing in my dreams and my abilities. I believed happiness is right across the door and I can reach the zenith of my dreams to make everyone proud. I can end up fulfilling my parents dreams, my brother dreams as well my dreams if I just believe. And God still loves me, so my knight will surely come when I least expect and he will be someone my family will smile to give my hand to :). In short, dreams make me and I don’t mind dreaming all the time as that is just so ME.

And how can I forget, December brought this beautiful forgiveness feeling. I plan to write a last post of this year today about it. Its about forgiving all who made me bitter over the years- my exes, my ex best friends, my brother (sometimes), my sister in law, everyone who hurts and everyone who couldn’t see the real me. I pity the one who couldn’t see the real me and I seek forgiveness for ones I hurt. In short I forgive all and I forgive myself. I forgive myself for the regrets and mistakes because had they not happened, life wouldn’t be the way it is and I wouldn’t be the person I am. I believe the almighty has something beyond perfect in store for me to test me for rather too long. And 2012 is the gift he is giving me to see a glimpse of all the happiness. I know I am expecting a lot but I am not, I am just believing in the year which has my birth date included in it 🙂

Also I moved blogs, turned bit anonymous and all that led to unleashing my creative streak. My muse is back and I have not blogged the whole year as much I did in this one month and I simply loved it. I love the wordpress platform and my template , it gives such a warm home feeling. I might have lost lot of my followers but got to read a lot of good stuff and follow some amazing writers. Thanks to all friends who stuck to me in this change and all the new followers I gained. I love you all.

Beautiful smiles awaited
As December came along
I smiled to welcome
A month of freshness.

I loved the smell
I loved the cold
I loved the books
I love the myself.

I deleted bitterness
I emptied negativity
I forgive who hurts
I forgive me for hurting.

I believed in dreams
I believed in life
I believed in love
I believed in new year.

I would like to thank Purvi  for giving me an award. I cherish it a lot 🙂 . It encouraged me to write a lot more having received the appreciation. Sorry for being late in this post.

7 Random things about me :-

  1. I day dream a lot and actually converse a lot in those dreams right from childhood. Some of those imaginative conversations find way into my writings as well.
  2. I went completely bald twice in my pre-teens- in 6th and 7th standard.
  3. I am crazy about chocolates and actually stole and hid one swiss chocolate when my share got over as a child. Though it was found later by bro but he still teases me about it 😛
  4. I started writing poems more seriously as a result of a major crush on a classmate in college.
  5. My first crush lasted around 5 years. Even more than any of my relationships :P. And I gained back touch with him via social networking after 10 years. ( Though he still doesn’t know about my crush)
  6. I way too sensitive and caring when it comes to relationships with friends, family and people I love. I am a strong personality and come across as arrogant or cold by few people but its some people I am closest to who can only see my weak side. I have had my trust broken a lot and yet I can’t help but trusting people and get attached too much rather soon.
  7. I have grown up with cats and absolutely love them and want to own one someday.

Here are the rules for the Versatile Blogger Award:

  1. Nominate 10-15 fellow bloggers (you’ll find my list at the end)
  2. Inform the bloggers of their nomination
  3. Share 7 random things about yourself
  4. Thank the blogger who nominated you
  5. Add the Versatile Blogger Award Pic on your blog post.

I Nominate :-

  1. Meethi Mirchi– An awesome friend and an amazing haiku writer 😀
  2. Lady Nimue– A very special friend who I own a lot of poetry learning to 😀
  3. Yogesh– A amazing writer, A great cook and an fantastic friend 😀
  4. Tbg – He is the greatest blessing I got in form of friend this year. Word fall short to tell what a great support he is. I nominate you so you blog in 2012 😀
  5. Ms. R.– My twin, My best friend here and an awesome writer 🙂
  6. Nil– She is one genuis writer I love totally:)
  7. Poohi– The girl with the cutest smile and awesome writing style. I Looove her and her poems 🙂
  8. Sulagna– An awesome friend, a great wife and even greater mother. I love her and her blog beyond words:D
  9. Blahblaholic– One of the most cutest girl I know and writes amazing stuff too 🙂
  10. WJ– She is a sweetheart and an awesome photographer. I absolutely love her and all what she writes 🙂
  11. Raaji– She writes magical. I get lost in a different world whenever I read her 🙂
  12. Uncle Jack– His experiences in life are such that each time I read him I learn a lot and to add it all he is such a great human that I am proud to know him:)
  13. Suruchi– Ms Gorgeous who has been with me in my best and worse times. She has a way with words and she just makes me smile with it always 🙂
  14. Kellie Elmore– An amazing writer I discovered recently . She makes me fall in love with words she writes always:)
Keep Smiling. Be happy. Be blessed 🙂

 

I Believe

As the sun sets
I look for a new dawn
Fresh dreams
Sprinkled with dews.

Openly welcome
Amassing in my arms
Stores of surprises
Which rays spread around.

Evading the bad omens
Buckling the mind
To joys of wonder
Smiling fortunes befall.

Squeezing the wedge
Of negativity within
Regaining hope
I march forward.

I embrace it willingly
The mornings
And the darkness
I look to happiness.

Spreading my wings
I smile and wipe tears
Worries are removed
As I laugh at them.

Hard toil gets stiff
For toughened is persona
Within me is different
Variants which visualizes.

Dreams are still fictions
But I attempt to actualize
I fly and I rhyme
I dance to the tunes of life.

I welcome the new time
With the new within
Destroying the hurts
Achieving only smiles.

Only year changed
But I feel a lifetime
Decade of struggles gone
Happiness define new me.

Heart rule within
Head cooperate again
I can willingly achieve
For I again BELIEVE.

Also Prompted @ 3WW

P.S. :- I wish All of my readers a Very Very Happy New Year. Last year marked the end of a decade and I welcome the new decade as a decade of positivity, happiness and loads of good things….I welcome it with loads of smile and I hope it proves a blessing for all of you.
Loads and loads of love to everyone.