Growing wings to fly
Leaving behind childhood
Discovering epiphanies of life
Not all scars healed by bandages
Having a vision of what I seek
I smile with a tear rolling down
Missing those careless dolls
And not a whim of worry
Abound lessons of love and hate
I am still grateful for what was there
And what I still have nearby.
O how I miss writing. This december something has been missing and today I realised it was month of the year challenge. It was that challenge that made me introspect for past two years. Also, it made me directly talk to my readers and not just give them my creative pieces. I had somehow started liking that random thoughts kind of writing. It made me feel lose and just come face to face with the year that was. The challenge might happen in January according to my friend. But then I might be little bit busy to do justice to it.
But what I miss most is the compulsion to write for I wanted to. Professional things have kept me little bit busy and hence I have been so off social media and stuff that I just don’t write. Also, due to space constraints on the phone haven’t been able to use wordpress there. Sigh I miss it all. Also, I miss my poetry club which I haven’t attended for long.
Somehow I have come to term with facts that if friends don’t value you much, you should not be the first to do the efforts always. And alas, it made me sans friends. I know there are still few I can rely on. Just miss that always in touch kind of friends. Guess its life. But then maybe once the work thing starts I might be too busy to realize that. I have just stop being the caring and all giving kind of friend. People want me to give them all the priority and love and when I expect, well my priority in their life is last. So now I just don’t try. With some very special friends I still try because they do try and only I went busy but with others after many tries I have realized just not worth making fool of myself by showing them to be special and in the end become a buffoon. Sigh I just can’t understand people. I need new people in my life. Till then, family and work keeps me busy.
I met my ex-roomie after long and it was so nice. She is one girl I have always been glad to know. And its awesome I can say that for long because marriage hasn’t changed her but made it more fun as I have been friends with her hubby too before they got married. I plan to meet her more now on. Need to treasure those who value you. She is one who has always encouraged my poetry and I love her for that.
Otherwise life is a mess. Just nothing working out. Times are tiring. And the hopeless romantic in me misses having a muse. Its funny how as we grow up we become calculated on who to have crush on too for its no longer about flings. But more than crush, I miss that one best friend I can call always as luckily most of my crushes have been my best friends. Even ex for that matter.
Too many random thoughts this post has for my mind has just too much for the sheer lack of writing. Guess should write more so I feel more sane.
Hope you all doing good.
Hope the self afflicted kind of writer’s block ends soon and I give you all something wonderful to read.
Love and spread love 🙂
P.S. Its winters and I love the season 🙂