Regrets and Law of Attraction

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Do you guys have regrets? Or is life way too beautiful for us to get ourselves stuck with them? Do you feel we have what is known as temporary moments of regrets? If it was not so, how come we don’t regret those marks or the misses we once did? Or do we attract all the wrong decisions to us too which make us nearer and nearer to our real goal in this life?

Today, while on my evening walk these were the thoughts that were occupying my brain. I have been reading the book ‘The Secret’ off late and I was wondering how we attract even bad decisions and how we repel people we don’t want to stay longer? I think it might be due to law of attraction. If not, how do I not remember all that I regretted or hated once? How come my messes have no play in today’s life? I messed my boards and wanted to disappear and yet I don’t regret or even remember it now? I regretted leaving literature once but it was not in my hands. If I had pursued, life would have been different. But would it have been what it is today?  If I had pursued science I might never have fallen deeply for literature as I did  or even discovered I had the talent to write. I never did bad when it comes to studies after school maybe because I did what I had capability for and what if I had not? If I had pursued literature more, all novels would have turned work not love and passion. I might have stayed in the same university and not seen hostel life and might not have fallen in love right? And what is life without love man. I might not grown up as much I did. From innocence to strength I saw it all. Infact love gives us such courage that we know not of. I once let go off many things for love and I feel it was all for good. Infact I feel its good I never moved out for its only lucky children who get to be there taking care of aging parents. That is one regret I wouldn’t have want for that would have stayed forever. Of not spending enough time with parents. My life is still not sorted but now I feel I am content at what I do atleast and its beautiful and I feel I attract or repel decisions too.

For a long time in life I felt I was God’s chosen angel. And then I stopped believing and he stopped answering. Yet when I think now. All along he was hearing it too. He got me rid of wrong people when I couldn’t take them anymore. All I needed was to say and like magic they said goodbye themselves. It was funny but it still happens. Coincidently, I have even attracted guys I dated or crushed. They used to be this popular guy every one wanted and like magic they liked me. But then the ones I knew it was a hopeless struggle got repelled and left too. I believe in being chosen more now so it happens easily and I know it. I even get over people after initial day or so after realisation dawns of what a mess it would have been if they had stayed. So I think now whatever I have in abundance today is because I always believe I can never be short of this and it is so.

We all have struggles. I still have more in future. But every wrong decision made me move closer to the person I am and that is beautiful. As a result I don’t regret. I just close my eyes and thank certain things for existing and others to go. But when I fear losing I do lose. For I am not sure of myself.

So something like law of attraction exists. If it has to work, don’t regret. Why regret what made you happy? Why regret love or losing when it makes you a winner someday? All we need is some courage to make all we want a reality. And rest, life is indeed beautiful.

Till next time,

Live, Love and Laugh.

P.S. I never asked how you guys doing? I miss writing so this was one of those random writings. Hopefully I can write more this year. And yes, Happy New Year you guys 🙂

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Rebellion

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Rebel is my middle name,
Say my parents quite often,
Youngest, yet most pampered,
Often in trouble, yet cherished.

Anger was often on the nose,
Often, shredded things in haste,
Seeking to fly even with freedom,
Things not many could understand.

Let down a bit too many loved ones,
Stood by what I truly believed in,
Fought to keep my talents flowing,
Even when were called frivolous.

Golden spoon is what I am born with,
Said most who knew me in younger days,
Then the wand of destiny played,
Darkness showed me the worst phase.

Poetry became my passion once,
Family couldn’t get it all,
Some saw it as a distraction,
Took a break, yet I came back.

Peace I found in spinning words,
Secret names I might keep now,
But I never let the magic fade,
For some gifts are in your fate.

Life showed many twists and turns,
Yet, I reclaim my territory often,
Choosing to stick with my desires,
Bringing revolution in other mindsets.

The games never cease to end,
Change I still bring everyday,
With new pupils being awakened,
World will be sane with them.

Long way to go I still have,
Many desires still to be attained,
Now I smile more and cry less,
Confidence is name of thy rebel.

Written as part of OctPoWriMo Writing Prompt Day 4: Poetry Revolution 

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P.S.: I think this poem needs a bit of a background. What is referred in it is my rebellion to stick to keep writing poetry and keep teaching courses related to feminism or gender at the university. Somehow, that poetry rebellion won and the battle to stick with the subject I love is still on but when I see my students’ changed mindsets or they choosing to change society , it is worth it all. So poetry and feminism is my small revolution.

Destined Conversations

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Today I feel like telling a story. Of another he and a dreamy she. A story hidden in the pages of fiction. And maybe smiling in the embrace of reality. A story that still smells of love and filled with fragrance of truth. A story not of hurt but of hearts that were once in pain.  I could call him a cynic who stopped trusting down the road. She was a wary one too but was a believer and a strong one. Believer of fate and destiny, of nicety and love.  He was the kind hard to convince of real emotions. But then they met.

One fine rainy day, in a mystic but crowded cafe, their fates just crossed paths.

A boy had no option but to disturb a girl engrossed in a book. For the cafe was just too full.

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He:  Excuse me? Is there anyone else sitting with you.

Irritated at being disturbed, she peeked through the book to have a look at the voice.  A tall guy with beautiful green eyes caught her fancy, but then he was not that cute to be forgiven for interrupting her in midst of a beautiful novel.

She: No. But that shouldn’t concern you.

He noticed that smirk and that irritation and also those deep brown eyes behind the black frame of spectacles. Some innocence she had which he couldn’t avoid.

He: Well, the cafe is too full to sit. So if only I can sit till some table gets free?

With a caustic look she replied.

She: Umm. Okay.
He: Thanks.

She was again lost in her book. But then she left a mark which he wanted to explore. Something which even the arrogant he wanted to ascertain. Because her being caustic was just so fake. She produced some naive innocence with her presence.

He then tries to strike a conversation with his deep voice.

He(clears throat): Elif Shafak writes brilliantly.
She (surprised): You read ?

He (with a smile): I write too.

There was something in her mind which always said that men who look good can not be the brainy ones.

She: Interesting.
He: You seem surprised?

She: No.  Just.
He: You judge easily.

She: Eh? You don’t even know me. Also, by saying that, who is being judgmental?
He: Relax.  Don’t be defensive. Was just an observation.

She: I am not. Just. Whatever.
He: Oops. Seems I annoyed much. Sorry for that.

She( relaxing much): Its okay. So what all you write?
He: Mostly fictions. At the moment working on a science fiction.

She: You mean you do it for a living? ( A much more surprised look)
He( with some more smile) : Not really. Am an engineer by education but this is something I want to do.

She: Wow. Lucky you. Getting a chance to pursue what you want to. Most don’t.
He: We all can, if we want it that bad.

She: Maybe. Maybe we all don’t try that bad. Sigh.
She(thoughtfully): I am more into poetry though. Reading Shafak is like reading poetry in motion and that is why I love her.

He: True. So you write too?
She:Yes. Kind of. I have even studied literature once for a degree. But then. Life moves on.

He: Now I am envious. Getting to study literature is like luck.
She: Haha. I guess we get some, we lose some. I get to study literature and you get to write it.

He: Yes, maybe.

Suddenly the waiter comes in with a cup of coffee.

Waiter : Sir your order.
He: O Thanks.

He: So a poetess I meet. You must be quite a believer.
She: And you quite logical.

He: O yes. I am a cynic. Have to be in a world like this.
She: What is wrong with the world? You get air to breath, food to eat, water to drink. And for the rest, blame the humans.

He couldn’t help but smile at the simplicity of this girl. Someone who might have seen it all and seemed hurt and yet had so much beauty and love within.

As he dreamed looking at her, she waved her hand in front of those eyes.

She: Hello?  What happened?
He( waking up): Nothing. Was wondering how nicety still exists.

She: Well it does, for you are one too, right?
He (looking deep into her eyes): Am I?

She just couldn’t help get lost into those eyes that enticed her.

He didn’t know what he was doing but just wanted to freeze that moment.

It was there that two souls found some spark that they missed in their lives for ages.  They didn’t knew what will happen next, but they didn’t wanted to know.

She finally said smilingly.

She (blushingly): Yes
He( blushing ): I am glad.

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And so amidst some books and laughter, coffee and conversations, poetry and believes, another story was being written.

P.S. : Just out of blue someone reminded me of he-she fictions. Though, the poetry challenge is keeping me busy this month I felt maybe I can attempt writing one after long and since it turned just fine, thought will post. If some of you do read it, I would like to hear some feedback as it encourages me and since I like this piece even though mushy, I would love your comments on it 🙂

Poetic Destiny

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Once upon a time not so long ago
Lived a little girl, with small dreams
Borne in a world, of books and tales
She desired anything but those ways.

Pampered for being the tiniest one
Became a buffoon, as the innocent one
She still loved it all, for she had him
Her childhood hero was her only sibling.

Then a faraway land, called him across seas
At the time, when she was to become a lady
Found a friend, who introduced her to fiction
And started a diary, she called her special one.

She read some, and wrote some fables and tales
It has songs of smiles, and dreams unknown
Of one fairy angel, and maybe a prince charming
But they were just pure scribbles, of a child’s mind.

Then in the struggle to succeed, she saw failure
Tears seemed her destiny, end she predicted
But that was the plan, of the almighty
To gift her the precious, we call literature.

She fell in love with characters like nothing
‘Darcy’ was the prince, and ‘Liz’ the princess
‘Jane Eyre’ is her favorite of them all still
And ‘Mrs. Dalloway’ helped her to think differently.

The hormones had other things in store,
When he walked in the class through that door,
She smiled, and at nights often cried
And hence had her very first poetry writing night.

For days and nights, all she did was read and write
And one day even got few published to reach heights
Like a fresh air, he came and then left,
Touching the heart, even if never the breath.

The little one is now grown up to know
He was indeed her very first muse
A long break of illusion happened then
Later, a guardian made her scribble again.

The muse was different this time
The black characters danced on paper
To relieve her of the pain she kept
She found a world that gave her solace.

She was growing with every written word
Learned the art to fight, and be the strength
Love was what made her heart feel rejoice
 Ambition dictated her smiles, and she conquered.

Running away, from the world that was hers
She finally realized, this was indeed destiny
That her dreamland was this world around
Of classics and rhythms, where she was born.

Written for the OctPoWriMo writing prompt Day 3: I Wrote a Poem one Day

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Also, Prompted @Inspiration Monday

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